In a tram, a mom is traveling with her daughter. The girl sits there frowning, either because of her mood or perhaps her mom said something unpleasant. An elderly man sits down in front of them, and seeing the girl’s face, he asks, «Why the long face?» She completely ignores him. Puzzled, the old man asks the mom, «Doesn’t she talk at all?» Suddenly, the girl declares, «Mom doesn’t allow me to talk to men on public transport!»
Greetings to everyone who’s dropped by! Here are some new funny children’s remarks from my memories and reader comments, all themed around transportation. Hold onto your bellies!
A reader writes, «My daughter recited a rhyme loudly on the trolleybus: ‘Daddy was mad today, he found out he’s a donkey.’ Luckily, dad wasn’t there.»
After a flight, as passengers stood waiting to disembark, the seats being made of faux leather and slightly damp, a 3-year-old boy hugged his grandmother’s leg and loudly, reproachfully announced, «Grandma, you peed right in your pants!» The passengers burst into laughter, lifting everyone’s mood. And the grandmother had nowhere to hide her embarrassment.
Another from a reader, «Walking past a maternity hospital with my son, I said, ‘See the house behind the fence? That’s where you were born.’ Later, passing by again, he loudly asks, ‘Was I born under that fence?’ ‘Not under the fence, but in the house behind it.’ People walking by laughed.»
This story reminded me of a pearl not from a child, but from an adult woman. I was on a bus, next to two teenagers, a brother and sister. The girl loudly spoke on speakerphone:
— Mom, which stop should I get off at? They don’t announce it here!
— Get off at the maternity hospital. Your brother will remember it. He was born there.
I stood there thinking, «And how would he remember that?»
«In the subway across from us sat a man completely bald, brow-less, but with a large black mustache. My son couldn’t think of anything better to say than, ‘Look where uncle’s eyebrows have fallen.’ Unfortunately, at that time the train stopped, the car was quiet, and he had said it loudly. We had to apologize. Luckily, the passenger had a sense of humor.»
«Daughter loudly on a plane: ‘We live in the north, and we have big biting macaronis.'»
A grandmother teaching her grandson colors as they walked along the sidewalk, she asks, «What color is the tram that passes by?» He answers, «Blue.» She then asks, «And what color is the grass?» And he answers, «Blue.»
While driving my daughter to daycare, I asked her:
— What color is the sun?
— Greenova.
— How can it be ‘green’? It’s yellow! Look, the dandelions, they’re the same color. What color are the dandelions?
— Greenova.
And people around us smiled.
«Once, riding the bus with my daughter sitting on grandma’s lap, I stood nearby. It was deep autumn, and we were passing a park with pine trees. Out loud for the whole bus, she exclaimed, ‘Wow, what pines!’ Nearby were ordinary trees, and she again declares, ‘And these are just pafkis.'»
«My four-year-old once, on the bus, pointing out the window: ‘Mommy, daddy and I walked into that pinnyushka.'»
«Riding the bus with my three-year-old daughter. An old, hunched woman with gray hair and a cane gets on. My daughter points at her and says, ‘Mama, Bafka Lyoshka (Hedgehog).’ The old woman, being hard of hearing, asks, ‘What?’ I had to say, ‘Sorry, she was mistaken.'»
«My 3-year-old daughter loudly on the bus: ‘Why is this stop called «bare corpse» (Bassein Trud)?'»
«A neighbor with a 5-year-old took my mom’s bus pass. When the conductor started asking for ticket money, the child said, ‘We’re not paying for the ride, we took Aunt Lyuda’s pass.'»
«My friend got on the tram with her son, about 4 years old, bundled up in a snowsuit, unwieldy… She hauls him through the front door into a crowded tram. A girl at the front seat gives up her spot to him. He sits down properly. My friend, somewhat irritated, tells him, ‘You could at least say «thank you,» you dummy!’ The boy turns to the girl and loudly says, ‘Thank you, dummy!'»
«My son once embarrassed me on the trolleybus. He was traveling with his favorite bunny, which his dad had given him. At home, he had another bunny—mine, which my dad had given me in my childhood. And my son knew this. I told him, ‘Here, your dad gave you this bunny, and this one my dad gave me when I was just like you.’ Then some grandma on the trolleybus complimented the bunny my son was carrying. And he started to tell her that his dad had given him this bunny. Then he adds, ‘I have another bunny too, also given by a dad, but not this dad—another.’ The passengers looked at me sympathetically. I didn’t bother to explain. I just smiled because my son (just over three) was trying very hard to explain the situation about the dads and the bunnies, but he couldn’t get it right.»
«My daughter at 2 years old saw a bicycle in the hallway and said, ‘When I grow up as a boy, they’ll buy me a bicycle too.’
