The daughter disappeared on May fifth. Valya had spent the whole evening in the garden: the snow had just melted, and the soil needed preparing for planting. This was the third spring she had to tend the garden on her own, and it didn’t hurt so much anymore.
Her husband left just before New Year’s. In the village, people had long whispered behind Valya’s back, saying her husband was running off to Nastya. Valya didn’t believe it. It couldn’t be true because she had tried so hard to be perfect: she never took his paycheck like others, didn’t nag him about fishing, didn’t ask for a washing machine when the old one broke down. Valya remembered how her mother scared off every man with her scandals; everyone laughed at her: now divorces happen, but back then divorce was a disgrace—and her mother had managed to divorce three times.
Valya didn’t want to follow in her mother’s footsteps and decided she would be the perfect wife. She planned to have three children to properly bind her husband to her.
But three didn’t happen. After their son was born, who lived only a few months, doctors advised against having more children.
“This is hereditary,” the doctor said. “Another child might also be ill.”
Valya didn’t like to think about it. Her perfection broke at that time; Sergey had to take on the house and care for their daughter. Deep down, Valya knew they separated because of that breaking point. They couldn’t patch up their family life shattered by the boy’s death. So he left for Nastya, even though there was nothing special about her: just an ordinary woman with two kids, by the way.
In the garden, Valya was sweating and decided to heat the sauna. She wanted to ask Tanya to fetch some water—but Tanya wasn’t there. She was surprised since Tanya hadn’t asked to go anywhere.
Lately, Tanya had been difficult and unhappy with everything.
“Mom, you don’t listen to me!” she said. “What does it matter what my grades are!”
But Valya didn’t know what else to ask besides about grades. She missed the moment when the little girl with braids turned into a gloomy stranger. She had given Tanya a doll for her last birthday, but Tanya threw a fit! Valya herself couldn’t have even dreamed of such a doll as a child.
Tanya’s jacket was missing. And her boots too. So she must have gone to a friend’s. Valya was worried: her daughter had never behaved like this before, but she pushed aside her anxious thoughts. She fetched water herself, heated the sauna, and kept looking out the window. Tanya still didn’t come back. A sharp pain settled in Valya’s chest. She went outside to the porch and looked beyond the gate. Someone was indeed walking toward the house but taller than Tanya. Looking closely, Valya froze: it was Sergey. And an unpleasant premonition sank heavily into her stomach.
He stopped at the gate, as if wondering whether to come in. Valya herself went to the fence, waiting for what he would say.
“Tanya…” Sergey said. “She came today, said she wants to live with us.”
Valya’s face went numb. Her tongue wouldn’t move; it felt like a dead fish lay in her mouth.
“I tried this and that with her, but she refuses. Says she’d even sleep in the entryway. We quarreled, you see?”
Valya finally swallowed the dry scratchy lump and answered:
“We didn’t argue. Wait, I’ll go to her.”
“No need. I thought—if she wants, let her.”
“What do you mean, ‘let her’?”
“Let her live here. Nastya doesn’t mind.”
So now Nastya had taken not only her husband but her daughter too.
“And what about me?”
“Come on. You’ll rest. I came because Tanya asked me to help her pack her things. Will you do it? She’s scared to go alone.”
Her shoulders grew heavy, her chest felt tight. Valya trudged inside and began packing notebooks, textbooks, clothes from the wardrobe, toys. She put the doll she had given Tanya on her birthday in the bag at first, but then took it out again. Tanya didn’t like the doll.
When she came out, her face was wet. She had no strength to hide her tears.
“Val, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Don’t torment me, go.”
Sergey’s back was hunched, his arms hung limp holding the bags like whips. Valya watched his retreating figure for a long time, and when he turned down the alley, she wiped her face and went to the sauna.
She had to get her daughter back. Valya didn’t know how she would do it, but she would.
The next day she went to the school. The medical station nearby was closed, so she left and waited for a call, then waited near the classroom.
“So, what are you thinking?” Valya asked.
Tanya lowered her eyes and pressed her lips.
“Leave me alone. I’m going to live with dad. You can’t forbid me.”
“Do you think dad needs you? Or Nastya? Do you want to be their Cinderella?”
“As if you need me!” Tanya spat. “Leave me alone, I said! I won’t come home.”
That day the medical station didn’t work. Valya left a note on the door and first went home but felt restless, so she decided to go to the cemetery: to visit her father and son.
At the cemetery, Valya always calmed down. She tidied the graves, imagined how old their son would be now with Sergey. She thought maybe they shouldn’t have listened to the doctors? Tanya was healthy; they could have tried once more. Her heart had too much free space for love, but Sergey and Tanya didn’t need that love.
In the evening, Sergey came again: it turned out Valya hadn’t packed all Tanya’s things. Tanya had sent him for a skirt she hadn’t worn in a long time and a textbook Sergey and Valya had been searching for half an hour but couldn’t find.
“Maybe we’ll have some tea?” Sergey suggested. “I’m tired of searching.”
“Okay,” Valya agreed.
Over tea, she cautiously asked about their daughter.
“Everything’s fine. We put her with Mashka. Don’t worry, she’s doing well with us. And if she gets fed up, she’ll come back.”
They talked about the weather; Valya shared her plans for planting: where there had been untilled ground before, she planned to plant special potatoes.
“How will you dig it yourself?”
Valya shrugged.
“Don’t touch it, I’ll come and dig.”
When he left, the house immediately felt empty. Valya wandered through the rooms looking for the textbook. She didn’t find it. She decided to bake Tanya’s favorite cookies and worked on them until late at night. In the morning, she went to school, slipped a bag to her daughter, and left.
That evening Sergey came again.
“Tanya asked me to bring her doll.”
“The doll?” Valya was surprised.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t she come herself?”
“Who knows? She’s sulking like a mouse on grain. You really didn’t argue?”
“Really.”
“Okay. Didn’t you find the textbook?”
“No.”
“Maybe it’s behind the couch? Let’s move it.”
They moved the couch. Valya sweated, stretched out her hand, but for some reason, she felt happy.
“Ugh, heavy as you, Valentina. I forgot. Mistress from Nastya…”
He stopped. Valya didn’t comment: she packed the doll with indifferent blue eyes and stuffed in more cookies.
“Wow, this is from the meat grinder?” Sergey cheered. “Oh, if only with milk now!”
“Well, come on, I’ll pour you some.”
No cookies left for Tanya, but Valya promised to bake more tomorrow.
The next day Nastya appeared—not at home, but at the medical station.
“Aren’t you ashamed?” she snapped. “Opening your mouth about someone else’s husband!”
Valya was speechless. Nastya didn’t calm down:
“Think I don’t know what you’re up to? You sent your daughter to spy on us! Don’t even dream of getting my husband!”
Finally, words came.
“He’s not even your husband, remember?”
Nastya turned green. It was true Sergey and Valya divorced, and he didn’t marry Nastya.
“So he will soon!” she shouted and ran off.
Valya didn’t tell Sergey about this when he came to dig the garden. Why should she? He didn’t butt in either; she went to bake cookies. A double batch. And she heated the sauna—he’d sweat, and Nastya would cause a scandal.
“Valentina!” Sergey shouted from the doorstep. “Bandage, please!”
“Bandage?”
She came into the hall. Sergey’s finger was bleeding.
“The axe slipped. It’s nothing, just a scratch.”
Valya brought iodine.
“No need, just the bandage, let’s wrap it. I told you, it’s just a scratch!”
Sergey was always afraid of iodine.
“Don’t argue,” he cut her off.
She dabbed it; he bit his lip.
“Let me blow on it. Well, better?”
Like with a little kid, really. Valya stood so close she could smell his familiar sweat, hear his uneven breathing. Her head spun, something tore inside her chest, and it all happened by itself. By itself…
Good thing she heated the sauna. He definitely needed it. They didn’t look each other in the eyes. And she forgot to give the cookies to Tanya. She thought he wouldn’t show up anymore, but he came the next day.
“Tanya asks you to bring her sandals.”
“What sandals? It’s still cold!” Valya protested.
“How should I know? She insists. You know her.”
He was silent, then added:
“It’s impossible to stay at home. Nastya causes scandals. She suspects something.”
“What?” Valya didn’t understand.
Sergey shrugged.
“That I want to come back…”
He said and looked at her scared. Valya didn’t know what to say.
“What do you say?”
“Are you serious now?”
“Absolutely.”
“And what about Nastya?”
“Forget her! She bewitched me or what. I’ve always loved only you.”
It was nice to hear that. Even if she didn’t believe it.
“And what about Tanya? If she doesn’t want to come home?”
“Where would she go!” Sergey waved his hand.
Valya asked for time to think. Though, what was there to think about? Wasn’t this what she wanted? Sort of, but still scary: what if she can’t be perfect again? What if he leaves again? And Tanya: she also abandoned Valya.
However, she wasn’t given time to think. In the evening, Tanya and Sergey came with bags. Tanya didn’t look at Valya but didn’t seem upset. On the contrary, she seemed to hide a smile. Sergey was loud and cheerful, but it was clear he felt awkward.
The awkwardness didn’t pass immediately—for either of them. Nastya came several times to cause scandals; it didn’t get any easier. Tanya kept hiding in her room, avoiding talking to Valya. Apparently, she was still offended, but at what? Once Valya found the doll she had gifted on the floor, thrown aside, and lamented:
“Why are you like that with her? Such a nice doll.”
“Oh, mom, what do I need dolls for? I’m grown up! I told you already.”
Only then did things fall into place for Valya. She looked at her daughter closely and asked:
“Aren’t you ashamed?”
Tanya smiled happily:
“Nope. It’s good now, right?”
Valya sighed, touched her belly, and said:
“Oh, I don’t know, daughter… I don’t know…
