Mom, come on, someone came to see you!» said fifteen-year-old Ksenia to her mother. At that moment, Vera was sitting at a table in her bedroom, sorting through work papers and listening to music through headphones to avoid being distracted by the noise coming from the neighboring apartment, where renovation had been ongoing for the second month.
She didn’t hear her daughter and didn’t even pay attention to her, so immersed was she in her work. «MOM!» the girl shouted louder and shook her by the shoulder.
«What?» Vera turned around quickly. «Why are you shouting, Ksyusha?» Ksyusha leaned closer to her mother’s ear and whispered almost silently:
«That old woman is here again, demanding to see you!»
Vera’s mood instantly vanished. She closed her eyes briefly, counted to ten, exhaled deeply, and braced herself.
«Where is she?» asked the mother.
«In the kitchen, as usual, displeased with everything!» Ksyusha replied.
Vera got up from her desk, took out her headphones, paused the music, and reluctantly went to the kitchen.
In the kitchen sat Zinaida Pavlovna, the mother of Vasily, Vera’s husband and Ksyusha’s father, who was currently at work. He worked as a security guard in a grocery supermarket and was not expected back until ten o’clock in the evening.
«Am I supposed to sit here waiting for you much longer?» Zinaida Pavlovna demanded without even greeting her daughter-in-law.
«As long as necessary!» Vera snapped back. «I’m listening, what do you want this time?»
«You, my dear, should tone down your temper! I am older than you, and you should respect me!»
«Age and respect have nothing to do with each other! I’m asking what you wanted and why you came here again? Vasily is not home, and you know it well! And he wouldn’t be happy to see you here after what you said last time!»
«I didn’t come here to argue, Vera!» Zinaida Pavlovna said in a slightly calmer tone. «I want to talk to you!»
«We have nothing to talk about! And I ask you, please leave and don’t come back again!»
«No, you sit down and listen to me! I will say what I wanted, whether you like it or not! Understand?» the mother-in-law insisted more forcefully.
«Only if you promise that as soon as you say what you wanted, you will immediately leave our home!»
«Are you trying to set conditions for me?» the woman smirked. «You’re not grown up enough to set conditions for me!»
Vera really didn’t want to lose her temper, but her mother-in-law was pushing her closer and closer to it.
«Sit down, I told you, and better yet, pour us some tea!» Zinaida Pavlovna demanded.
«And should I spread some butter on your bread while I’m at it?» Vera was stunned by her mother-in-law’s demands.
«If needed, you’ll spread the bread too! And stop arguing with me!»
«So, quickly spill what you wanted, and goodbye!» Vera was starting to lose her patience.
«Fine!» Zinaida Pavlovna agreed. «So, you know that Oleg’s birthday is next week, and I want to give him a trip to Thailand! For him and his family!»
Vera realized where the old woman was headed and immediately decided to cut off her further words.
«I can’t help with that!»
«But you haven’t even listened to me yet!» the mother-in-law stated sternly and was about to slam her fist on the table.
«I already understand why you came! You want us to help collect money for your favorite’s little trip! Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I won’t give a penny for that! And neither will Vasily! And you really have the audacity, after what you said last time, to show up here and still dare to beg for money for your Oleg? You really are out of your mind, Zinaida Pavlovna!»
«Everyone else has already contributed, except for you!» the mother-in-law replied to Vera.
Vera let that comment go in one ear and out the other.
«I couldn’t care less! I’ve already given my answer!»
«If you don’t contribute, then you simply won’t be invited to the celebration! Do you understand that?»
«Do you want me to repeat myself? I couldn’t care less! Now get up and goodbye!»
«Do you understand that I can make it so that no one from the family will ever speak to you again if you refuse me now?»
«And do you understand that I simply don’t care! At all! I don’t particularly want to talk to your relatives anyway! You’ve done enough over the years that Vasily and I have been married! So goodbye, Zinaida Pavlovna! Please leave the premises!» Vera asked her.
«Alright, so be it! I forgive your rudeness!» the mother-in-law said. «But I haven’t finished talking yet!»
And with that, Vera’s patience reached its breaking point.
«Listen, get out of here, will you! Forgiving me! Who do you think you are here? Did someone even invite you? Why did you even show up? Last time you made it very clear that your son means nothing to you, my granddaughter is growing up to be a ‘streetwalker’ as you said, and you don’t even consider me a person! The only one who matters to you is your son Oleg, who has been licking your boots all his life, and his children, whom you consider your only grandchildren!» Vera exploded. «What are you gawking at me with those eyes for? Get out before I make you!»
Zinaida Pavlovna’s face began to turn red, and her eyes seemed to fill with blood. Vera even stepped back to avoid getting dirty if the grandmother were to burst from her anger.
«THAT’S IT!» the mother-in-law roared and finally slammed her fist on the table. «NEVER, DO YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER DARE TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!»
She shouted, and the woman’s spit flew everywhere, which Vera found somewhat amusing.
Ksenia came running out of her room at the noise.
«What’s going on here? What’s with the shouting?» she addressed both her grandmother and her mother. «I’m doing my homework, stop yelling at the top of your lungs! Enough already!»
«And you get out of here, you little snot! Sit in your room and keep quiet! No one was talking to you, and no one gave you the right to speak!» the grandmother snapped at her granddaughter.
Ksenia reacted instantly. On the kitchen table by the wall was a jug of cold boiled water. The girl silently approached, filled a glass with water, and splashed it in her grandmother’s face.
«Cool down, grandma!» said the granddaughter. «Or I’ll really put a bucket of water over your head!»
Vera couldn’t contain her hysterical laughter. What her daughter just did to her grandmother was something she herself had dreamed of doing countless times. But she had never managed to bring herself to do it, whether due to upbringing or simply because it was still her husband’s mother.
Vera laughed so hard she nearly fell over, and Ksenia, pleased with herself, simply turned around and went back to her room to study.
Zinaida Pavlovna jerked up, pushed Vera aside, quickly dressed, and vanished from the apartment. True, the curses and screams while she was dressing were so many that Vera couldn’t remember anything like it.
Vera calmed down, caught her breath, and entered her daughter’s room.
«You, my feathered wonder!» laughed the mother. «Why did you douse her with water?»
«She got to me, mom! I don’t understand how you didn’t do it yourself!» the daughter complained. «Every time she comes, it’s always those screams of hers! How much longer can we tolerate this crazy woman?! There’s no other grandmother, and she’s not a grandmother to me either! Ugh, disgusting!» Ksenia grimaced. «If she shows up again, I’ll really put a cold water bucket over her head!»
Late in the evening, Vasily came home, tired and as angry as a dog. His wife, greeting her husband at the door, immediately wanted to ask why he was so angry. But he started first.
«What did you do today?» Vasily asked his wife.
«What did we do?» Vera asked back, smiling and recalling the scene with the doused mother-in-law.
«Why did you douse my mom with ice water? Are you completely insane, Vera?»
The smile vanished from his wife’s face.
«I don’t understand?! Are you accusing me now on her behalf? She got exactly what she had been asking for a long time! And don’t play the caring son here! Or have you forgotten all the nasty things your mom has done to us in our lifetime?!»
«But why douse her with water? Everyone has called me, everyone expressed everything they wanted to say! Oleg even said that after this, I’m no longer a brother to him! And mom was screaming into the phone like a madwoman! Did I really need to listen to all that?!»
«Ha! I see you’ve changed your tune quickly, dear! Just recently you were cursing her out here, saying you didn’t need such a mom in any form! And now what? You’re scared they won’t invite you to your brother’s birthday? Is that what you’re afraid of?»
«Where’s Ksenia?» the husband asked sternly.
«In her room! Where else could she be?!»
«I’m going to deal with her now!» Vasily said and headed to the bedroom where his daughter was.
«I’ll deal with you now, Vasily! I’ll make you remember this for a long time! And tell your mom that her legs are no longer welcome in our home! She has favorite grandchildren and a beloved son with a daughter-in-law, let her graze there! And she’s no longer welcome here! If she shows up again, like Ksenia said, we’ll put a cold water bucket over her head! And shut your mouth, just try to say anything against me now!»
After these words, Ksenia herself came out of the room.
«Mom, dad, stop fighting already!» the daughter pleaded. «I’m reading a book, and you’re bothering me!»
«Why did you douse your grandmother with water?» the father asked his daughter sternly. «Who allowed you to do that? Do you understand that’s your grandmother, my mom?!»
«So what?» the girl smirked. «Should that mean something to me? She’s a stranger to me! I had one grandmother, but she’s no longer with us! Your mom is just a grandmother in name only!» she replied to her father.
«Alright, both of you calm down! Or it’ll start all over again! Go have dinner, and you go read your book! Disperse, quickly!» Vera commanded.
Vasily shuffled his feet, unhappy with his daughter’s response, but he didn’t press her further and went to change, wash up, and have dinner.
Ksenia also grumbled discontentedly and went back to her room.
«Oh, geez, family!» Vera shook her head. «Never a dull moment!»
«And don’t say!» the daughter shouted from her room.
«Read your book, don’t eavesdrop there!» the mother laughed and went to set the table for her husband.
When Vasily came to the kitchen and sat down at the table, Vera asked him:
«Did they even tell you why she came in the first place?»
«Just wanted to talk!» the husband replied. «And you both jumped on her and doused her with water!»
«Seriously?» Vera laughed. «Just to talk?»
«Yeah, why not?»
«No! She came and started blackmailing me, demanding money for some trip abroad for Oleg and his family for his birthday! She said that if we don’t contribute, then we won’t be invited to the party, and no one from your relatives will talk to us anymore!»
«What, she really said that?»
«Yes, exactly like that! And then, when I freaked out and started to kick her out, she started yelling at the top of her lungs! Well, then Ksenia came out of her room, and she snapped at her too! And my daughter, I’m amazed by her patience, just took a glass of water and smacked it right in her face! Of course, it was a sight, I thought I’d die laughing! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time!»
«Really? And everyone else presented it completely differently to me!»
«Are you really surprised by that? Or do you not know your own mom, how she can lie and twist things?!»
Just then, Vasily’s phone vibrated on the table. It was his mom calling.
«Why are you looking at me like that?» the wife asked. «Well, answer it!»
Vasily picked up the phone and answered the call.
«Listen carefully!» he said sternly.
«Have you dealt with your hussies there yet?» Zinaida Pavlovna asked.
«Why didn’t you tell me about the money you were demanding from Vera? You said you just wanted to talk! But in reality, you started blackmailing her, demanding money for some trip!»
«I didn’t blackmail anyone! Don’t start with me! By the way, I’m calling you about that! I need you to either transfer or give me forty thousand in cash tomorrow, I’m going to book Oleg a resort trip tomorrow!»
«How much? Forty? And his face won’t crack from that?» Vasily was outraged. «So, you give me the cheapest underwear and socks for my birthday, and you decided to buy Oleg a trip, and even at someone else’s expense! Forget it, guys! I won’t give you a penny!»
«But Vasily!»
«No Vasilys! That’s it, goodbye, mom! And by the way, the girls said that a bucket of water will always be waiting for you at the doorstep! So, if you get bored, drop by!»
And he hung up.
Vera looked at her husband and barely held back a smile. But she couldn’t keep it in for long. They both burst out laughing.
«That was harsh with your mom…»
«Well, she completely lost it, forty thousand, she says, give it to Oleg for a trip! Let them walk with all their brood to our polluted beach! That’s where they belong! My salary, damn, is less! Forty thousand she wants!»
«I told you so!»
From then on, Vasya and his family became persona non grata to all of Vasily’s relatives. No one called them anymore, no one invited them anywhere. And most importantly, no one bothered or asked them for anything anymore. Which they were all very glad about.
