— Oh, we barely made it here! And this heat! How do you even live like this? — Gennady, the homeowner’s cousin, said as he squeezed into the hallway with enormous suitcases. His wife Tamara followed right behind him.
— I don’t understand. Wait… where did you come from? — Anton asked. He happened to be home alone, and when he opened the door, he was so stunned that he almost lost his bearings.
— Why the sour face? Come on, Antosha, that’s no way to greet guests. Yes, we didn’t warn you we were coming. But that’s just how it happened, sorry, brother, — Gennady continued cheerfully.
— What do you mean, “where from”? From home, of course! — Tamara joked foolishly. — All the hotels are full now, and they’re expensive anyway. Everyone wants to go to the sea. Are we not people too? So don’t be offended. Welcome your guests, Tosha!
That day Anton had come home from a night shift exhausted and drained. He worked as an ambulance doctor, and the night had been anything but calm. His wife was already out, the children were at camp. After a quick breakfast, he went straight to bed. So when the doorbell rang sharply around midday, Anton was sleeping deeply in the quiet apartment.
The persistent ringing hit him like thunder out of a clear sky. Still half-asleep, he walked to the door. Without thinking much about who might be there, he opened it. He simply wanted to deal with whatever it was and go back to sleep.
Behind the door stood Gennady and Tamara from Titovka, a village in the Saratov region where his wife’s relatives lived.
— You? Where did you…? — Anton froze.
He had not fully woken up yet. He yawned, rubbed his eyes with his hands, and for a moment thought the sight in front of him was either a hallucination or part of a dream.
— What do you mean, where from? You’re something else, Tokha! — Gennady laughed loudly and slapped Anton on the shoulder with his large, heavy hand. — And why are you sleeping at this hour? The whole country has been living an active life for ages, and you’re lying around doing nothing.
— Hello. Well… this is unexpected, — Anton muttered as the harsh reality began to sink in.
He realized that the guests standing in front of him were very real, very energetic, and that it was already too late to pretend nobody was home.
— Come on, wake up properly! And help us bring in the suitcases! — Gennady ordered rather roughly.
— Where’s Masha? At work? — Tamara asked, walking past Anton deeper into the apartment.
— At work. Where else would she be? — Anton replied, not very politely.
— Obviously, you weren’t expecting us. We’re not stupid, we understand that. But! You’ll have to put up with us. What else can you do, Anton? What else? — Gennady said cynically. — We’re family, and family comes with obligations!
At that moment, he was already opening his suitcase to take out his house slippers.
— Put up with us? — Anton asked for some reason.
— With you, with you! I mean you and Mashka. And us too. All of us! Today we came to you, and tomorrow, who knows, maybe you’ll show up in our village to get away from the city noise.
— We have other people to stay with in Titovka. We wouldn’t bother you, — Anton replied unhappily.
— Exactly! Now you’re talking, brother! But here, in Anapa, we have no one except you. You’re our only option! So you’ll have to tolerate us. We can’t go to a hotel, can we? Especially since they’re all booked, — Gennady responded loudly.
— I don’t want to sound rude, but normal people plan trips in advance and book hotels long before they travel, — Anton said irritably.
He did not feel well. He had not slept enough, his head was pounding, and that was why he was greeting the guests with such a grim face.
— Listen, Tokha, what’s wrong with you? You look like you’re not happy to see us. So gloomy, so displeased. That’s not how guests are welcomed. That’s it, we’re already here. You can’t kick us back out now. Put a smile on your face and show a little optimism, my friend!
— How long are you planning to stay? — Anton asked hopefully.
— Oh, not long! Two days, maybe three, — Gennady said without hesitation.
— With suitcases like these, for two days? You’re lying, aren’t you? The main thing is to move in first, and then see how it goes, right? You’re a crafty one, Gena, — Anton said, not believing him.
— Oh, figured it out? Well done, Anton! Do you always do the same thing? — the shameless relative of his wife said, pleased.
— No, I’ve never had to. We try to act properly and honestly.
— Enough of this pointless chatter. Tell me where we can put our things. And find sleeping places for me and Tomka. Are we sleeping here on this sofa? — the guest asked businesslike. — Fine, okay, that’ll do. We only need a place to sleep. The rest of the time my wife and I will be at the sea — swimming, sunbathing, enjoying ourselves.
The uninvited but very confident guests began unpacking their suitcases and settling in. Anton went to the kitchen and called his wife.
— What did you say? Repeat that! — Masha could not believe it. — Genka and Tamarka showed up at our place? Unbelievable! What nerve! That sounds exactly like my pushy cousin. He’s been forcing his way through life like that forever. They could have at least called and warned us. They could have behaved like normal people. Although why am I even surprised?
— Listen, does this mean our trip is ruined? We were planning to go to the Nesmeianovs’ dacha on Saturday. I already arranged my schedule. I asked Mikhalyuk to cover my shift on Saturday. I wanted so much to rest and spend time with friends, and now this… — Anton said sadly into the phone. — Now we’ll have to entertain your relatives.
— No, we won’t! Absolutely not! Don’t lose heart. Why should we change our plans because of them? — his wife said firmly.
Unlike her husband, Masha had a decisive and strong character. And she already knew what she was going to do.
— Well, what are we supposed to do? We can’t exactly throw them out, can we? — Anton asked, confused.
— How long did they say they came for? — Maria asked.
— They said two or three days. But their suitcases look like they packed for two weeks. It’s obvious they’re lying.
— Then in three days they’ll leave like good little guests. Hospitality is one thing, but in two or three days they won’t be in our apartment anymore. They’ll be gone by the weekend. I promise you that.
When Masha returned from work, she found her cousin and his wife sitting in the kitchen. The relatives were cheerfully celebrating their arrival at the seaside.
They had stocked up well on beer and salted fish of various types and sizes. Fish scales scattered all over the kitchen and the thick smell of beer — that was what greeted the hostess after a hard day at work.
— Oh, sister! Hello, Mashulya! — Gennady tried to hug her with his fish-smelling hands. But she dodged him.
— Hello, hello. Celebrating, are we? — his sister said with displeasure.
— Yes, we decided to spend our vacation by the sea. We have the right. We earned it, so to speak. So we stopped at your place. You don’t mind, do you? — Gennady said shamelessly.
— Do we have a choice?
— Come on, drop it. Better sit with us, Mashenka. Have some beer, eat some fish, there’s plenty. Tired from work? Your Anton refused to drink with us for some reason, — Gennady said, puzzled.
— Because he and I still have to work. Tomorrow morning we both have to get up and go again. But fine, I’ll sit with you for a while. I’ll just take a shower first. And you, Tamara, clean up here a little. It’s unpleasant even to sit at the table like this, — Masha said reproachfully.
No, she had no desire at all to sit and drink beer with uninvited guests while listening to their drunken chatter. But Maria had a goal. And as they say, the end justifies the means.
She already knew exactly how she was going to drive the shameless relatives out of her apartment.
By the time she came out of the shower, Tamara had finally cleaned the kitchen, and the hostess could sit down at a clean table.
The conversation about countless relatives had already been going on for almost an hour.
— Gena, do you remember Olya? The one you wanted to marry back in tenth grade? — Maria suddenly began, as if the topic had come to her out of nowhere.
— Olga? Yes, I remember. But that was ages ago. We were kids, a hundred years have passed, — Gennady answered carelessly, sipping his beer.
— Kids? Not exactly. You seem to have forgotten something. You used to run to her when she was already married. Her husband would go away for work, and my dear cousin would go straight to Olga, — she continued with a sly smile, looking at Tamara. — Oh, what a womanizer you were!
— Hey, come on. What are you doing? Why bring that up now? — the guest became slightly nervous. — It’s all ancient history, and suddenly you remembered it. And most importantly — why? Stop it, Masha!
— Why, Gena? Because I recently saw that Olga of yours. When I was visiting Mother. She divorced her husband. He threw her and the child out onto the street. I felt so sorry for your beloved. And that child of hers, Gena… is it not yours by any chance? Maybe you’re the reason for their family drama? — Masha winked at him.
— What are you talking about? You made that up! What do I have to do with it? That’s ridiculous! Masha, think before you speak! I’ve been living with Toma for five years now, and you’re bringing up Olga. Why dig up old stories? — Gennady was now seriously nervous.
— All right, all right… I just remembered it, that’s all. It came up in conversation…
But Maria had no intention of calming down. She understood perfectly well that Tamara, who had moved to the village from the city, knew almost nothing about her husband’s stormy past. And that was exactly what Maria decided to use.
— Oh, and do you remember my friend Angela? — the hostess continued, pretending to be fairly tipsy. — Gena, you broke that girl’s heart. How much Angelочка loved you! How she suffered, poor thing! How she cried on my shoulder! She used to say she had given you everything — all of herself, without holding anything back. She would have given you her life too, if you had asked. Just to be near you. Just to be loved by you. And what did you do? Shame on you!
— What did he do? — Tamara asked sharply, stopping both drinking and eating.
— Genka? He left her! As soon as a young teacher came to our village, he abandoned Angela and switched to the new girl, — Masha eagerly shared with Gennady’s wife. — And that young teacher was inexperienced. Fresh out of university.
— And then what? — Tamara asked. Her mood was no longer cheerful or carefree.
— He charmed her. As if Gena couldn’t charm someone! He wrapped that young specialist around his finger in a single day. It turned into a scandal back then! That teacher had to grab her things and run from Titovka.
— Why? What happened? — Tamara was almost crying.
— Masha, please stop! What are you doing? You really found the perfect thing to remember! You turned this into an evening of memories, — the guest said angrily.
Gennady had already noticed how his wife’s face had changed. And he himself did not enjoy listening to any of it.
— No, Gena. Let your Toma know what a legendary husband she has. And how all women were ready to give their lives for him! — Maria continued, getting deeper into character. — And I’ll still tell you about the teacher, Tamara. They drove her out of the village for immoral behavior. Yes, that’s how it was. She lived openly with my cousin here, this handsome man, but there was no wedding in sight. And in a village, people don’t accept that. Gena, why didn’t you marry her? She seemed like a good woman. Beautiful, educated. Why not a wife?
— That’s enough! We’re going to sleep. We’re tired today, we came a long way, it was a hard day. We sat, we talked, and that’s enough. Come on, why are you still sitting there? — Gennady called to his wife.
— Sleep, then sleep. We’ll continue tomorrow, — Masha said meaningfully. — Tamara, don’t rush off to bed just yet. Clean everything here first and wash the dishes. I’m not going to scrape up after you.
Gennady’s displeased wife stayed in the kitchen to wash the dishes, while Masha went to the bedroom. Without her main spectator — her cousin — there was no point in continuing the performance.
The next day, the guests returned to the apartment late. They had spent the whole day at the sea.
— We ate at a café, — they announced to the hosts.
— Wonderful. Then we’ll just have tea. I even bought a cake for the occasion, — Maria said, winking at Tamara.
— I won’t refuse cake. I love sweets, — Tamara answered.
— I’m fond of sweets too. Come on, sister, put the kettle on, — Gennady agreed.
— How was the sea? The beach? — Anton asked the guests.
— Oh, everything was just great! The sea, the beach, all of it, — Tamara shared. — And your fruit here is so juicy and ripe. Nothing like ours. Gena absolutely loves fruit.
— Yes, my cousin does love it, you’re right! Once he ate too many plums. Remember that, Gena? He got so sick they even put him in the hospital.
— Really? He never told me anything about that, — his wife said, surprised.
— Of course he didn’t! What would he tell you? How he seduced a married nurse named Zoya in the hospital?
— Masha, again? Maybe that’s enough? — Gennady asked irritably. — Have you decided to tell Tomochka my entire biography? Why?
— What do you mean, why? That was all you. You were born that way, always shocking the family with your antics until you were twenty-five. And you know, Tomochka, that Zoya ended up leaving her husband. That’s what love can do! She left the children with her mother and ran off with Genka into the unknown. Where did you two go, Gena? Moscow, wasn’t it? — and without waiting for an answer, she continued. — Yes, Moscow. You went there for a better life. Wanted to start fresh in a new place, without witnesses. For him, a reckless young fool, it was nothing. But Zoya had two children. They came back very quickly, though. And somehow the love ended just as quickly. That’s the story. And poor Zoya is still alone now. She’s raising her children, her parents help her, and her husband doesn’t. He left back then out of shame and disappeared, so he wouldn’t have to look people in the eye.
— Gena, how could you? Is this true? — Tamara sat pale and deflated, not touching the cake.
— Masha is lying about everything! Why are you listening to her? She has no filter, she just says whatever nonsense comes into her head, — Gennady tried to laugh it off.
— No, brother, I’m not lying. And you know it better than I do. I even still have photos. I can show you, Tamara, if you want. I’ll bring them now, it won’t take long, — Maria offered eagerly.
— Oh no! That’s enough! That’s all we needed! What photos, Masha? Have you lost your mind? — Gennady glared at her angrily.
— I want to see them, — his wife insisted.
— It’s time for bed. Come on, why are you still sitting there? — he called Tamara with him.
The next day, when Masha returned home from work, she did not find the uninvited guests in the apartment. Their things were gone too.
— They moved out? — she exclaimed happily, looking at Anton.
— Yes. They said they found a cozy, inexpensive room closer to the beach. They explained that it was too far to get to the sea from here, — her husband said with a smile. — You did great, my dear! I’m proud of you. You really dealt with him properly. Crushed him completely!
— And you, Anton, did not do great. Honestly. How many times have I told you to look through the peephole before opening the door? People that brazen and hardened should not even be allowed across the threshold. Remember that for the future. Guests are people we invite ourselves. Everyone else can go wherever they like. Understood?
— Understood. I don’t even know how it happened.
— Exactly. When you live by the sea, you have to keep your eyes open. Otherwise, you’ll end up feeling like your own apartment has turned into a camp, constantly fighting off hordes of uninvited guests. And believe me, there will be plenty more people like that. More than enough.
