Alexander Mikhailych and Avdotya Pavlovna had already lived most of their lives neither in peace nor in harmony, but somehow they lived together — they never divorced.
“Well, what, mother, it’s been 50 years since you married me, huh?” Alexander Mikhailych suddenly remembered the memorable anniversary of their wedding celebration.
“Remember? And I thought you’d forgotten a long time ago,” Avdotya Pavlovna chuckled, feeling pleased that her husband still remembered what happened half a century ago.
“How could I forget? They were coming to your village from the neighboring one straight on tracked tractors. And back then it was the thaw, a mess — muddy, wet snow had just fallen on top!” Mikhailych recalled and laughed.
“Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday — you climbed out of the tractor — looking handsome: in a suit, white shirt, tie, and muddy boots!” Avdotya Pavlovna teased her husband.
“Alright, Sashka, enough reminiscing! Go start the laundry and then grind some meat for me!” Pavlovna ordered her husband.
“Listen, my dear Dushenka, the men will laugh at me if anyone finds out I’m washing clothes in the house… Why don’t you just put the laundry in yourself, add the detergent, and push the button? And the electric meat grinder — that’s a whole different song, no cranking needed, just feed it and it works by itself!” Mikhailych tried to protest.
“I’ve told you many times already, your head is empty, I’m afraid of all this tech! I’m scared! Do you understand or not?! Since it’s simple, then go on, get to work!” Dushenka gave him a fierce, commanding look and pointed to the bathroom door.
Pavlovna was dissatisfied with her husband; she even wanted a divorce at one point. Although Alexander Mikhailych, besides doing men’s work around the village, also took care of household chores: he cleaned, washed dishes, did laundry, canned pickles in jars in autumn, and much more.
Moreover, Mikhailych was responsible for the entire village household: plowing the garden in spring and autumn, making beds for Pavlovna, watering tomatoes and cucumbers in the greenhouse — all this was Mikhailych’s prerogative.
In general, the man didn’t sit still, but Pavlovna was still dissatisfied with her husband.
Pavlovna was dissatisfied not only with her choice of husband but also with the choices of spouses for her children: Vitaly and Lyudmila.
“I’m telling you, you’re not going to marry her. I won’t let you! She’s ugly! I don’t like that Lenka, that’s all!” the mother shouted at Vitalik when he told her he had decided to marry his girlfriend.
Vitalik was a slow-paced guy. He met Elena while still living in his parents’ house: she was also from the village, living on the neighboring street. They studied at school together, went to the club together, went to apply to the same university, lived in the city together… Only Vitalik still hadn’t proposed.
“Vitalya, maybe we should get married already? We’ve been together for 10 years, and you still can’t decide to propose?” Elena herself started the unpleasant conversation.
Vitalik glanced discontentedly at his “girlfriend,” putting aside his tablet with video games on the couch.
“Well, what do you lack, Len? We live fine!” Vitalik sighed unhappily.
“I lack a family, Vitalik! A normal full family — like everyone else… I want children, Vitalik, and I’m already turning thirty this year! How much longer do I have to wait? Until retirement?” Elena snorted.
Elena’s arguments seemed reasonable and sensible to Vitalik, so the next weekend he went to the village to his parents for their blessing for the wedding.
Vitalik always went home alone, so from the very beginning, Pavlovna disliked Elena.
Why? What did Avdotya Pavlovna dislike about her — she probably didn’t know herself. Pavlovna was not particularly beautiful herself. Her figure resembled a peasant’s — crooked legs, clumsy, flat-footed gait like a bear’s, rough facial features, and a harsh barking voice did not add special feminine charm or attractiveness.
Elena, on the contrary, had a good feminine figure: as the men said — everything in place, had a positive character, a sense of humor, and most importantly, feminine wisdom and kindness.
Nothing bad was ever noticed about Elena even in her youth and teenage years. She studied well, then went to university, and later got a good job in the city.
“No, I said, don’t even beg!,” Pavlovna glared at her son with angry, hateful eyes, “Hey, Sash, why don’t you tell him yourself?!”
“Yeah… Listen, mother, a mother never gives bad advice!” Alexander Mikhailych shouted to his son from another room while pulling a washed pillowcase from the washing machine.
Vitalik argued just to keep the peace but did not dare to contradict his authoritative mother.
“Listen, Len, parents are against it, so I can’t marry you! I told you it’s better for us to live like before: we live in the city, no one knows or pretends not to, and we pretend we’re not together,” Vitalik only smiled.
“Vitalik, I’m tired of leaving our shared rented apartment whenever your ‘mom’ suddenly decides to come visit you! And when we drive to the village in your car, I’m tired of having to carry my bags on foot so your ‘mom’ doesn’t notice you gave me a ride to your parents’ house!” Elena raised her voice at her boyfriend.
“How did you call my mother? What kind of ‘mom’ is she to you? Have some respect for my parents and their opinion!” Vitalik finally roared.
“I’ve had enough! Really, it’s time to respect myself and your parents’ opinion, so I’m leaving you! Got it?” Elena jumped up from the chair and began packing her things.
“Good riddance! I’ll find someone else! Dasha from work has been hitting on me for a long time! What a big problem that would be!” Vitalik snorted and didn’t even move to stop the girl he’d lived with for nearly 10 years.
After that, Vitalik really started an office affair with Dasha, who was head over heels for him.
Dasha was 7-8 years younger than Vitalik, and she did everything to quickly get into Vitalik’s bed, then into his apartment, and then onto his passport.
“Well, that’s what I told you, Vitalik! Should have done it a long time ago! What a beauty!” Pavlovna smiled happily, “Tell your dad!”
“Exactly! That’s a different matter!” Alexander Mikhailych agreed with Pavlovna.
The man didn’t quite understand what “different matter” meant. Daria was model-looking, but at 23, she was still a child compared to the older Vitalik. She wanted entertainment, bright emotions, gifts, and a beautiful life, considering she came from a wealthy city family used to all sorts of luxuries.
“Vitalik, when will we go to the jeweler for a gift? I picked out a great necklace! I already went to try it on without you, it suits me very well!” Daria flirted with her husband after the wedding.
“Dasha, what necklace?! I just paid for the wedding in an expensive capital restaurant! I still need to pay my friends back!” the husband looked at Daria confused.
“You’re such a bore, Vitalik! I noticed that since your courtship — you haven’t bought me anything…” Daria pouted.
“How’s that? Dasha? We don’t get out of expensive cafes and restaurants! We just came back from a resort, where we didn’t deny ourselves anything, and here?!” Vitalik didn’t understand his wife’s complaints.
“Well, you don’t get it… What kind of gifts are those? We rested together, enjoyed ourselves together? But I want a personalized gift!” Daria stomped her foot in indignation — she was already pregnant.
Soon Vitalik, fed up with his wife’s demands, walked with a happy and glowing Daria to buy her that very necklace — on credit! But the woman didn’t care!
“Vitalik, when will we go shopping? I need to update my wardrobe!”
“Vitalik, why do you live in a rented apartment? Don’t you have money to buy one?”
Vitalik, Vitalik, Vitalik — the frequency and size of the “requests” from the young capricious woman grew exponentially, and within a year Vitalik became a father; he had a daughter, and the list of demands grew dozens of times!
“Since I gave birth to your child, you must carry me in your arms and buy everything I want! I want this fur coat!” Daria stood by an expensive elite fur salon in the city center pointing to the most expensive display model.
No, Vitalik earned well, but even his salary was not enough for all the “wants” of the young capricious woman, and Daria’s parents were grateful to Vitalik that he now entertained and provided for their insatiable daughter.
Vitalik was already thinking about returning to the good old Elena, but to his great surprise, she suddenly married some industrialist, lived in a large luxurious house in the suburbs, and ignored all the ex’s texts with typical content: “Let’s meet and talk, I realized a lot, listen to me.”
But contrary to his parents’ opinion, Elena did not consider Vitalik the ideal man to whom she had to run at full speed at the slightest snap of his fingers. Elena loved her husband and valued him and soon gave birth to two lovely children.
And Vitalik was left with only the hysteria of a young woman.
“What are those scars on your hands?” Avdotya Pavlovna suddenly noticed the scars on Vitalik’s hands and shoulders.
“Nothing special, Dasha bit me when I explained that I had no money for another platinum ring with diamonds!” Vitalik just snorted.
“Wow, and is she a dog or what, to bite? Is she even sane?” Pavlovna whispered.
“Well, Mom, you liked her… Remember how you praised her to me? Said what a good Daria, what a pretty Daria! And my head has been swollen from this Dasha for a year, what will happen next?” Vitalik was angrier than ever at his mother.
“No, son, I didn’t know… Look at her, she’s a beauty!” the mother excused herself.
“Well, live with this beauty yourself, I’ve had enough! I’m divorcing!” Vitalik shouted.
A month later, Vitalik divorced his wife, but the little daughter demanded attention, and Vitalik, as a conscientious parent, paid alimony and extra help to his family remotely.
In fact, nothing changed in Vitalik’s life. He still gave all his savings to the “daughter’s maintenance” fund, and what they were actually spent on, he didn’t even want to think about.
He enjoyed that he could now live a separate quiet life, and the desire to build relationships with other women disappeared, as his head literally swelled from the “loads” from his ex-wife.
Ten more years passed. The daughter grew up to be a copy of Dasha, and now Vitalik was bombarded via messenger with requests for money by two capricious girls — one was 10, the other 35.
Vitalik came home in a rusty, almost completely rotten car, didn’t want to talk to anyone, snapped at his parents, and practically didn’t leave his room. Pavlovna didn’t even want to notice her son’s depression.
“Well, that’s just his nature, what do you want from him?” she excused her son’s unusual behavior to mutual acquaintances and relatives.
Lyudka’s affairs were more positive than Vitalik’s.
Lyudmila — the youngest daughter of Avdotya Pavlovna — did not listen to her “wise” mother and still married Andrey, gave birth to three children, and moved with him to the city, away from her parents.
“Lyudka, why do you need him? Did you forget how he rode drunk on his motorcycle around the village? And you are such a… you know what — not like him… and what have you done?” Pavlovna said to her daughter before the wedding.
“Leave me alone, Mom, it’s none of your business. I’ll figure it out myself!” Lyudka dismissed Pavlovna’s lectures.
“And who should I look for: a prince from Rublyovka, Mom?! You’re not married to a prince either, and he does everything for you, so I want the same!” Lyudka replied to her mother.
Andrey courted his beloved girl for about 5 years.
“Andryushka, I told you a long time ago that this carpet in our living room needs to be beaten out!” Avdotya Pavlovna shouted at her son-in-law, who came to visit with her daughter and three grandchildren.
“Avdotya Pavlovna, it’s already in such a state that it only needs a high-pressure washer and shampoo. I’ll bring the washer from the shed now, hang your carpet on the fence, and beat all the dust out of it!” Andrey shouted joyfully in response to his mother-in-law.
“What are you, an idiot? Don’t you understand Russian?! You were told to beat it, not wash it! The beaters are in the shed! Get to work!” Avdotya Pavlovna ordered.
Andrey squinted at his mother-in-law but had no choice; he came to help his wife’s parents.
“Andryusha, go mow the plot! Your father and I will be completely overgrown here!” Pavlovna commanded.
“Listen, Lyud, why is she picking on me? Her husband is walking around, her son came, sits in his room all day, they should go mow!” Andrey didn’t understand the commanding tone of his mother-in-law.
“You were told to do it, so do it. Your father already has a lot to do, and Vitalik, you see, is in no mood!” Lyudka replied to her husband.
“No mood… Maybe I have the mood to take a fishing rod and go to the pond, not slave for your mother!” Andrey snapped but obediently went to start and bring to life the old noisy and smelly gasoline trimmer.
So Avdotya Pavlovna already had two men under her command who handled her household chores.
“Listen, Mikhailych, don’t you think something is wrong in Lyudka’s family?” Avdotya Pavlovna once approached her husband.
“Yes! Yes! I’ve been thinking that something’s wrong. But I can’t figure out what exactly!” Alexander Mikhailych nodded.
“I’ll explain, dear. Look: I recently went to visit them in winter. And this Andryusha comes home late at night, eats his fill, and sits in front of the TV or keeps poking at his phone!” Pavlovna whispered to her husband.
“Yes! Yes! My dear Dushenka. Of course! The man has three kids, and he comes home from his second job and sits down, you see, to rest?! Where have you seen that!”
“Why don’t you play with the kids?” Mikhailych yelled at his son-in-law five minutes after talking with his wife.
“What are you talking about, Alexander Mikhailych? I came to you now with three kids from the city and left Lyudka at home in the city for a week. She is resting!” Andrey defended himself.
“Yeah?” Mikhailych asked again — he needed to fulfill Pavlovna’s task — “scold your son-in-law.”
“Then tell me why Lyudka cleans at home and not you? You think you’re some kind of patriarch? I clean in my own house myself, even do laundry! And what are you better than me? You don’t take care of your wife at all!” Mikhailych nagged Andrey like a steam bath leaf.
“Oh, leave me alone, Alexander Mikhailych! We have a robot vacuum cleaner that cleans all week: I service it — pour water, clean cloths, empty trash. On weekends, I vacuum and mop myself.”
“I bought such an electric mop — it practically washes by itself, cleans the roller itself, and you just have to pour clean water in it and pour the old one out!” Andrey enthusiastically told about the cleaning topic since it was close to him too.
“Oh, a mop, huh…” Mikhailych could no longer find anything else to complain about and went on with his affairs.
“Look at me!” Mikhailych wagged his index finger threateningly at Andrey’s nose. “If anything, you’ll get it!”
“I’m looking, Alexander Mikhailych, and not blinking! I just don’t understand what you want from me!” Andrey just smiled and went about his business — namely, to obey his mother-in-law’s orders.
The performance with Mikhailych did not give the desired effect that Avdotya Pavlovna wanted, so she decided to deal with the issue herself.
“Daughter, don’t you think your Andrey is not quite what you need?” Pavlovna baited the hook, calling her daughter in the city.
“Mom, don’t you have enough of your own business? What did Andrey do to you?” Lyudka was surprised.
“Alright, daughter, I’m coming to visit for a month, and I’ll put your family in order! And that’s not up for discussion!” Pavlovna declared and began packing to leave with the grandchildren and son-in-law.
