The silence descended, but something sinister lurked beneath it.
«How much longer is this going to go on?» Liza threw a towel on the table. «I came home an hour ago and haven’t even had time to change!»
«What are you starting again?» Andrey stood in the doorway, blocking the way. «Mom just popped by for five minutes.»
«For five minutes? Seriously?» Liza pointed at the pile of dirty dishes. «And the other ten people just happened to walk by? All at once?»
Loud laughter echoed from the room. Someone turned the TV on full blast.
«Why are you acting like this? Everything’s fine, we’re having fun,» Andrey grimaced.
«You’re having fun, listening to stories and laughing. Meanwhile, I’m chopping the third bowl of Olivier!» Liza waved her hand toward the pile of potatoes. «And it’s already nine at night. I have a presentation tomorrow, by the way.»
«Again with your presentation. Who cares about some pictures…»
«Pictures?» Liza flushed with indignation. «This is a million-dollar project! Which I…»
«Lizochka!» The sweet voice of her mother-in-law interrupted. «Why are you making the salad so slowly? People are waiting.»
Galina Petrovna appeared in the kitchen doorway, adjusting her eternally lacquered bouffant.
«Could you at least warn us when you’re coming?» Liza tried to stay calm.
«My dear, what’s there to warn about?» Her mother-in-law reached into the bowl of cucumbers and grabbed a slice. «It’s just family popping in for tea. Back in our day…»
«In your day, there were no smartphones,» Liza muttered.
«What? What did you say?» Galina Petrovna squinted.
«I said, the cutting’s ready,» Liza grabbed the knife and began slicing the sausage, deliberately.
«Andryusha,» her mother-in-law turned to her son. «Your wife has really gotten out of hand. No hospitality, no respect for the elders…»
«Mom, come on,» Andrey shifted from foot to foot. «She’s just tired.»
«Tired?» Galina Petrovna scoffed. «When I was her age, I raised four kids, worked, cooked, and did laundry. And I didn’t complain.»
Laughter echoed again from the room. Someone shouted, «Andryukha, come here, Vityok is telling such a story, you’ll die laughing!»
«Oh, I’ll go listen,» Andrey said eagerly and quickly retreated.
«That’s how it always is,» Liza muttered, watching him leave. «Whenever it’s time to take responsibility for something, he vanishes.»
«Don’t talk like that about your husband!» her mother-in-law snapped. «You should be grateful he married you. With that temper of yours…»
Liza stopped listening. She looked at the knife in her hand, the cutting board, the jar of mayonnaise… And suddenly remembered the little box with drops she had bought at the pharmacy that morning.
«You know what, Galina Petrovna?» she said slowly. «You’re right. I’ll make everything now. You’ll remember this dinner for the rest of your life.»
«Finally!» her mother-in-law beamed. «It’s about time. I’ll call Zinaida Vasilyevna, too. She lives nearby, she should come over.»
«Remember how your daughter-in-law ruined the pilaf last time, Galya?» Aunt Valya’s voice drifted from the other room. «We drank water all night after that!»
«Yeah,» Galina Petrovna added, peeking out from the kitchen. «Liza cooks… in her own special way.»
Liza silently mixed the salad, counting to ten in her head. The doorbell rang again.
«That’s probably Zinochka!» Galina Petrovna perked up. «Andryusha, open the door!»
«I’m busy!» Andrey called from the room. «Liza, open it, will you?»
«My hands are covered in salad,» Liza said through gritted teeth.
«Oh, what kind of wife are you?» Galina Petrovna wailed as she headed for the door. «Can’t even help your husband?»
At the door stood not only Aunt Zina but also Andrey’s sister Marina with her husband and kids.
«We were just passing by,» Marina smiled as she pushed two screaming boys into the apartment. «Thought I’d pop in to see my brother.»
«Yeah, you all were just passing by,» Liza muttered under her breath, reaching for a new pack of mayonnaise. At 9:30 in the evening.
«What are you mumbling about?» Galina Petrovna turned to her.
«I said, everyone come to the table,» Liza answered loudly. «Everything will be ready soon.»
She took the fateful box from her bag. The instructions said the effect would kick in within an hour, and it was better not to leave the house or the bathroom during that time… Liza smiled to herself and poured a third of the bottle into the salad.
«Liz, is there going to be a hot dish?» Andrey peeked into the kitchen. «Marina’s boys are hungry.»
«There will be,» she nodded. «Everything will be ready. Cutlets, mashed potatoes, gravy… it’s something special today.»
«That’s my wife!» Andrey cheered. «You’ve stopped cooking lately, but today you’re really going all out!»
«You work all the time,» Galina Petrovna added from the hallway. «No time for the house.»
«But today, I’ll really go all out,» Liza methodically stirred the salad. «You’ll remember this dinner for your whole life.»
At that moment, the doorbell rang again.
«Oh, that’s probably Vityok and Lenka!» Andrey shouted. «I told them to stop by too.»
Liza froze with the spoon in her hand.
«You invited someone else?»
«What’s wrong with that?» he shrugged. «Since everyone’s coming. By the way, Vityok said he’s bringing his mother-in-law, she’s staying with them.»
Liza looked at the almost empty box, then at the salad, and calculated the number of guests…
«You know,» she said, pulling another package out of her bag, «I think I’ll make that special gravy too. So there’s enough for everyone.»
«That’s the spirit!» came from the room. «What’s a dinner without gravy?»
«Gravy is a must,» Liza agreed, methodically measuring out drops into the sauce. «The important thing is that everyone gets enough.»
«Well, come to the table!» Galina Petrovna declared solemnly. «Look at how Liza’s gone all out.»
The family buzzed, settling around the expanded table. Marina’s boys immediately started grabbing for the salad.
«How about the hot dish first?» Liza suggested with exaggerated care. «The salad needs to sit for a bit.»
«You’re always complicating everything,» her mother-in-law waved her hand. «Let the kids eat.»
«Yeah, yeah,» Aunt Valya agreed, piling her plate high. «What’s all this nonsense? Back in the day, we didn’t need any of these fancy rituals.»
«Nothing,» Liza smiled. «But now, it will be special.»
«Liz, why aren’t you eating?» Andrey asked with his mouth full.
«I ate at work,» she stood leaning against the doorframe. «And I’ve already had enough, just from the smells.»
«Look at that,» Marina sneered. «Doesn’t even want to eat with the family now. All this work, these creative ideas of hers…»
«By the way, about work,» Vityok interjected. «Do you really get paid for drawing pictures? What a waste of time…»
Liza silently watched as everyone took seconds. Plates were emptied at an alarming rate.
«Yum!» Aunt Zina chomped. «Finally learned how to cook. All those trendy little salads before…»
«Yeah,» Lenka, Vityok’s wife, added. «Remember last time, that Caesar with croutons? I had heartburn all night after that.»
«Don’t worry,» Liza whispered. «There won’t be any heartburn tonight. Completely different sensations.»
«What? What did you say?» her mother-in-law asked.
«I said, maybe we should play some music for the atmosphere?»
«Let’s do it!» Andrey perked up. «I’ll bring the speaker.»
He got up from the table but stopped in the doorway:
«Liz, you’re acting kind of weird today.»
«I’m normal,» she shrugged. «Just watching you all eat. I’d even say—eating in advance.»
«Come on,» he patted her shoulder. «See? Everyone’s happy. Even mom’s praising you.»
«That’s the important part,» Liza nodded. «By the way, I warmed up some extra gravy. I made it especially for your mom, with love. Let her try it.»
She glanced at the clock. By her calculations, the first «special effects» should start in about half an hour. Just when everyone would be full and relaxed.
«Lizochka,» her mother-in-law’s voice floated over. «Is there going to be tea?»
«Yes,» Liza nodded, grabbing her bag from the hallway. «But I need to leave urgently. I’ve been called to work, it’s an emergency.»
«Leave?!» Andrey exclaimed. «In the middle of a family dinner? Do you see what time it is?»
«What’s wrong with that?» she smiled sincerely for the first time that evening. «You came without warning, I’m leaving without warning. All in the family way.»
«That’s modern youth for you,» Galina Petrovna waved her hand. «No respect for family values!»
And in half an hour, there was no time for respect…
«Andryusha, I’m feeling ill,» Galina Petrovna mumbled, clutching her stomach.
«I’m feeling it too,» Vityok grimaced, squirming in his seat.
«Could it be the salad?» Aunt Valya asked worriedly, but she didn’t finish her sentence—she jumped up and ran towards the bathroom.
«Hey, where are you going?!» Marina rushed after her. «I’m first!»
«First?!» Lenka protested, trying to pass them. «I’ve got a real…»
Five minutes later, there was a full-fledged traffic jam in the hallway. The line for the bathroom stretched all the way to the kitchen.
«Mom, I’m not feeling well!» Marina’s kids whined.
«Hold on!» she snapped, shifting from foot to foot. «Grandma Galya, are you going to be much longer?»
«I just went in!» came a voice from behind the door, mixed with sounds that resembled a machine gun.
«This is outrageous,» Aunt Zina moaned, leaning against the wall. «In our time, this never happened…»
«Andrey!» Galina Petrovna shouted from the bathroom. «Call your wife immediately! This is all her cooking!»
Andrey grabbed his phone, but Liza wasn’t answering. Only a message came through: «I hope dinner went well. By the way, the neighbors also have a bathroom. And Vityok’s apartment is in the next building. Run, dear ones, run. You might even make it.»
«Is she doing this on purpose?» Aunt Valya gasped, covering her mouth.
«Mom, get out!» Marina groaned. «There’s a line all the way down the hallway!»
«I can’t!» Galina Petrovna screamed. «What did that scoundrel put in the food?!»
At that moment, the doorbell rang. It was the neighbor from upstairs:
«Is everything okay? The chandelier’s shaking…»
«I can’t take it anymore, the valve might burst,» came from the queue. «Should we call an ambulance?»
«An ambulance?!» Andrey yelled. «So everyone finds out?»
«Isn’t it better to be embarrassed in front of the neighbors?» Marina snapped, trying to push Vityok away from the coveted door.
Andrey’s phone beeped again. A message from Liza: «Almost forgot—divorce papers are on the kitchen table. Right next to the gravy your mom loved so much.»
«What do you mean, divorce?!» Galina Petrovna screeched, finally leaving the bathroom. «Andryusha, she has no right!»
«We’ll deal with it later!» Vityok snapped, rushing into the now-vacant bathroom. «Right now, there are bigger problems!»
Marina’s kids simultaneously started crying. Lenka began calling neighbors. Aunt Zina kept complaining about modern youth. And the phone kept beeping with new messages:
«And don’t worry about my things—I took them while you were enjoying dinner. Have fun digesting!»
«P.S. I especially liked how you, Andrey, praised my ‘pictures.’ Now these ‘pictures’ will only bring me income. Oh, and that million-dollar project—I successfully submitted it yesterday. So I won’t be without work.»
«P.P.S. By the way, it seems you’ll need to find a new cook for your precious family. Just so you know—you’ll be cooking for yourself from now on. I’ve already drained your card—hope you don’t mind? We are family after all!»
The line for the bathroom kept growing. In the distance, Marina’s desperate scream could be heard: «The neighbors won’t open the door!»
Meanwhile, Liza was sitting in a cozy café on the other side of the city, sipping cappuccino and for the first time in three years, feeling completely happy.
