A little girl in brown tights and no shoes ran along the icy village road. The ice, mixed with mud, thawed under her warm feet, and her big toe peeking through a hole in her tights had turned completely black. For some reason, that toe felt the coldest.
Perhaps because she could hardly feel her feet at all anymore. They were as frozen as the rest of her body, which was clad only in rather worn home dress besides the tights.
Spring was just beginning, at least according to the calendar, but the weather outside didn’t show it. The only thing that revealed the time of year was the road. During the warmer part of the day, the snow on it melted, exposing the black mud. But snowdrifts were still white around. Now it was evening, and it certainly couldn’t be called warm. The road had frozen over again, and this ice cut through Nadya’s feet even through her tights.
The girl was in third grade and already understood quite well that running down the street like this was abnormal, and she was attracting attention. But at the moment, Nadya didn’t care, as long as she could get away from home. At home, there was this new guy of her mom’s.
The girl had long resigned herself to the fact that men came and went in their house. Some demanded that Nadya call them dad, others simply ignored her. Nadya herself was tired of remembering new names.
The latest man was different. Nadya felt a vague threat from him as soon as he crossed the threshold of their rundown, long-neglected home. This man did not start disciplining her with a belt, like her mother’s previous partner. The girl was prepared for that. But this time it was different—a smiling, short man with a bald spot on half of his head, a slippery snake who slithered into the house and began showering Nadya with gifts. He didn’t drink, unlike Nadya’s mom, and he had money.
It might seem that the girl should have been happy, but not at all! Nadya had lived this life until she was nine and had developed a very strong intuition. She was terribly afraid of the new stepfather’s smiles and disgusted to take his gifts. These gifts seemed sticky, enveloped in the web of the slick uncle. He brought alcohol into the house, lots of it, and Nadya’s mom got drunk to oblivion. It was precisely at such moments that the new stepfather’s desire to help Nadya with her studies, to talk to her, awakened. He would sit next to her and, in a sugary voice, ask about her school, trying to place his hand on her shoulder or knee. Nadya felt nauseous at such moments, wanting to disappear, to dissolve. And usually, she managed to slip away, but not today.
Today, her mom got drunker than usual and passed out right in the kitchen, her head falling onto the table. The new partner entered Nadya’s room and closed the shaky door more tightly behind him. He did all this with such a greasy smile that the girl felt chills down her spine. The smile boded nothing good, as did the man’s behavior. Today he decided not to beat around the bush, thinking he had courted the girl long enough and had bribed her with gifts.
«What’s with that dress, Nadyusha? It’s a bit old. How about we take it off, and later I’ll buy you a new one. Want?»
Horror paralyzed Nadya, and nausea rose to her throat. The man came close to her and reached out with his spider-like hand. The girl vomited right onto his sports pants. The man cursed, jumped back, and his face twisted in anger.
«So, is that how it is?» he hissed. «Wait, I’ll be right back. I’ll change and come back.»
The man left, and Nadya realized she had no time to spare. She had to run, but how? She wouldn’t make it to the front door. Her mom’s partner would definitely stop her. The only way out was to jump out the window. The girl ran to the wooden window frame, struggled with the rusted fasteners, climbed onto the windowsill, and stepped into a snowdrift almost level with the window.
And there she was, running down the road, running to the highway without knowing why. Fear and a desire to disappear as quickly as possible drove her, and the cold pierced through her. It seemed to reach every bone, and soon Nadya would turn into one of those dirty ice chunks that so scratched her legs.
She reached the highway and walked along the shoulder. Her teeth no longer chattered as if in fever, and the skin on her face was tightened by the frost. Her head almost couldn’t think, and suddenly she wanted to sleep. Nadya didn’t hear the truck puffing and exhaling clouds of smoke as it stopped behind her.
Mikhail went to bed early. What else is there to do when alone? It was boring and unusual in the apartment without his wife Olya, who had gone overnight to visit her mother. It was lonely alone, so the guy decided to get a good night’s sleep.
He and Olya were a young couple, neither of them yet twenty-three. But they had already decided to have a child. Mikhail’s wife was six months pregnant. Why not? Mikhail had a stable job with the prospect of career growth and his own apartment, provided by the state. It was hard for the guy to recall how at the age of fourteen, his mother was deprived of parental rights and he was taken to an orphanage. Well, maybe it was for the best. Life in the orphanage was tough, no doubt, but it was even worse to stay with an eternally drunk mother and a series of drunken men who replaced each other. Mikhail hated most those who tried to «educate» him, and all their education involved physical punishment. Misha felt he was very lucky. Just four years in the orphanage, and then a bright streak started. He got an apartment, found a job, and then met Olya.
Olya, a home girl, grew up in a complete family. Mikhail was very ashamed to introduce her to his mother. Lying at first that he was an orphan, the guy still could not confess to his wife. And even when he visited his native village, he lied to Olya. But he visited not because he missed his drinking mother, but because in the half-ruined, sometimes unheated house, his little sister was growing up, whose father Mikhail did not remember or never knew. That wasn’t so important because Mikhail still felt a familial bond with this wild girl and knew how hard it was for her, having gone through it all himself.
Mikhail went to bed early, looking forward to getting some sleep, but he couldn’t. A phone call from an unknown number woke him. He didn’t recognize the elderly voice on the other end right away.
«Mishka, is that you? It’s Aunt Tonia, your mother’s neighbor. Remember, you once left your number, said to call if something happened. Well, here’s the thing. A truck entered the village, some truck driver brought your sister here. I got curious, we don’t often see such big rigs in our village. I see, the driver wrapped Nadya in a jacket and is carrying her to your house. And the girl is struggling, screaming she won’t return home. Your mother’s man comes out, smiling, and Nadya recoils from him as if he were leprous. So, I took your sister to my place. I don’t know what happened, but she’s crying her eyes out and refuses to go home. That man, he even knocked on my window, seemed sober and quite polite. Says Nadya refused to do her homework, and he punished her. I almost believed him and didn’t want to give Nadya back, but I can’t keep her forever. The girl’s completely chilled. I gave her some raspberry tea, and now she’s asleep. So I remembered about you. What should I do, Mishka?»
Mikhail sat up in bed and shook his head. The elderly voice seemed to burst into the nightmare of his childhood. He couldn’t understand, what truck driver? Where did he bring his sister from? He understood only one thing—Nadya was terrified to return to her mother’s house. That meant something bad was happening there. Possibly even worse than what had happened in his own childhood. Nadya was a pretty girl. His mother’s partners could only beat, but there are all kinds of people, especially among such a crowd! Deep down, Mikhail had always feared something like this, watching Nadya grow up.
«Don’t give her back,» he shouted into the phone. «Do you hear, Aunt Tonia, don’t give her back under any circumstances. I’ll be there soon.»
With one hand pulling on his jeans, Mikhail called a taxi with the other. He had already forgotten about his plan to rest. In less than an hour, he was in the village where he had lived until he was fourteen. First, he went not to the neighbor’s but to his mother’s house. His mother, predictably, was sleeping drunk right on the kitchen floor. A fallen chair lay next to her. But her new partner was sober as glass. And how his eyes darted when he saw Mikhail! That alone made Mikhail realize he hadn’t been wrong in his worst assumptions. When he left the house, a fresh bruise was swelling under the bald man’s eye.
The next evening, Misha’s wife, Olya, was returning home. She entered the building lightly, smiling as she remembered that this time her mother hadn’t managed to load her up with her usual jars of pickles and jams because now Olya shouldn’t lift heavy things. She caressed her neat belly and, remembering with annoyance that the elevator was still under repair, slowly started up the stairs to the fifth floor. Misha was at home. Entering the hallway, Olya wanted to call out to him but froze upon seeing small, sloppy boots on the shoe rack. Was someone visiting? Someone with a child? Then why was there no adult shoes?
The television in the living room was loudly playing. Olya’s husband sat on the sofa with some girl. They were eating popcorn and watching cartoons. Upon seeing her, the girl hunched her shoulders, and Mikhail jumped up, dropping the popcorn bucket but not caring. He looked very guilty.
«Olya, hi. Meet my sister, Nadya.»
Olya’s eyebrows shot up and stayed there, giving her face a look of astonishment. She was silent, not knowing what to say or ask in front of the child. Misha understood this. Taking his wife by the elbow, he led her into the bedroom. Barely inside, he began to apologize.
«Olya, I lied to you that I was completely orphaned. My mother is alive. She’s an alcoholic. She was deprived of parental rights when I was fourteen. I was ashamed to admit this to you at the beginning when we first met. And then it just went on, business as usual. Remember, I told you I was visiting a friend in the village. Well, I went there, but not to see my mother, but to see my little sister. She’s only nine. My mother still drinks and brings men home. This time she brought some slimeball and he started behaving inappropriately towards my sister. Nadya ran away. She reached the highway half-dressed, and some truck driver picked her up. I took Nadya in. Can she stay with us for a while?»
Olya mechanically placed her hands on her belly, stroking it, calming both herself and the baby at the same time. Overwhelmed by the information, her head spun.
«What do you want me to say?» she exclaimed. «Misha, you lied to me! How could you? Okay at the beginning, but then, when you proposed? You should have told the truth about yourself. I thought you had no relatives, but it turns out you have both a mother and a sister! And what do you mean, she can stay with us? She’s nine, she must be in school.»
«The spring break has just started.»
«It doesn’t matter, Misha. She’s kind of strange. Why does she watch such childish cartoons at her age? And overall… I don’t understand, I can’t imagine…. I just can’t wrap my head around it.»
«Olya, please forgive me,» Mikhail touched his wife’s elbow. «I was ashamed of my past, so I lied. But Nadya, she’s not to blame. She watches cartoons because she missed out on a normal childhood. Once you get to know her better, you’ll like her.»
Easy to say, you’ll like her! Maybe if Olya had met the girl under different circumstances, she would have been more sympathetic, but Misha’s prolonged deceit had thrown her off balance. She didn’t speak to her husband for a few days, and irritation against this unkempt, wild girl built up. Nadya behaved like a wild animal. She was completely unaccustomed to hygiene, didn’t brush her teeth, didn’t bathe. And the way she behaved at the table! Grabbing food with her hands or starting to drink soup directly from the edge of the bowl was normal for the girl. Meanwhile, Nadya, frightened by Olya’s silence during the first few days, had become withdrawn herself. She only spoke to her brother, answering Olya’s questions in monosyllables, pulling her head into her shoulders.
After a few days, Olya cooled down and forgave Misha. Then she asked her husband about his sister’s behavior.
«Why is she so jumpy? It feels like she was beaten, she always expects to be hit.»
«Most likely, that was the case,» Misha said bitterly. «My mother’s partners used to beat me often. I think Nadya got her share too. But she’s not like that with everyone. Nadya behaves normally with me. You need to make her feel comfortable with you.»
Olya didn’t want to win anyone over, and moreover, she saw no sense in it. The holidays were coming to an end, and Olya was eagerly awaiting the moment when Mikhail would finally take his sister back to the village.
Yes, she felt sorry for the girl, but Olya tried not to think about it because she understood that she did not want Nadya to stay in their apartment. However, by the end of the holidays, Misha was becoming more thoughtful, which frightened Olya. On the penultimate day, what she feared most happened. In the evening, locked in the bedroom, her husband started the conversation.
«Olya, I want Nadya to stay with us.»
«How do you imagine that?» Olga flinched. «She has a mother.»
«What kind of mother is that?» Mikhail sighed. «Getting her parental rights terminated for Nadya wouldn’t be difficult. And we are a young, complete family with our own living space. We can easily take her under our guardianship.»
«No, and no again,» Olga shouted.
She tried to keep her voice down so the sleeping girl in the next room wouldn’t hear, but she couldn’t help herself.
«Misha, I’m saying no. I couldn’t wait for the holidays to end so you’d finally take this Nadya away. I understand she’s your sister, but I can’t live with her. I’m too young to take care of such a big girl. She’s wild, unruly, unclean. She looks at me like a little wolf. And besides, Misha, haven’t you forgotten that our own child will be born soon? It will be too cramped for four of us in this apartment.»
«But I just can’t take her back to the village,» Mikhail also raised his voice. «Her mother is still living there with that slimeball. And who knows what could happen… Don’t you feel sorry for Nadya at all?»
«I do feel sorry. Very sorry. But I’m thinking about our child first and foremost. My final word is no. The holidays will end and you will take your sister back to the village.»
«No, I won’t,» Mikhail said stubbornly. «It’s like picking up a homeless kitten from the garbage, feeding it, warming it up, and then throwing it out again. But this isn’t a kitten, this is my sister!»
«Oh, is that so?» Olga flared up, «Then I will leave. I won’t live with you if she stays here. Choose who is more important to you.»
The conversation took place in bed. Olga demonstratively turned her back to her husband and huffily started snoring, indicating that the conversation was over. Mikhail also lay down. He tossed and turned, sighed heavily, but eventually fell asleep, while Olga couldn’t sleep. The girl already regretted her heated words. She loved Misha and didn’t want to leave him. At the same time, she really didn’t want Nadya to stay with them. The presence of this strange girl, with her piercing look, caused nothing but irritation. She didn’t know this girl, didn’t know what was going on in her head, and felt uncomfortable in her presence.
Olga lay awake, distressed about the argument and suddenly heard quiet sounds in the apartment. Nadya was trying to be quiet, but it wasn’t working well. A door clicked, a floorboard creaked. Olga lay there listening. What was this strange girl doing? What was that sound? Was she opening the front door? What did she need in the stairwell at this time of night?
Olga got up, groped for her long terry robe hanging on the chair, threw it over her shoulders, and left the bedroom. Turning on the light in the hallway, she confirmed that Nadya’s jacket and boots were gone. Where could a nine-year-old girl go in an unfamiliar city at night?
Olga felt uneasy. She went out into the stairwell in her robe and slippers. The elevator was still out of service, and she hurriedly started running down the stairs. She caught up with Nadya on the first floor.
«Stop, wait. Where are you going?» Olga asked, out of breath, holding her belly. «I barely caught up with you.»
For a moment, the girl was taken aback upon seeing her brother’s wife, then her expression turned to its usual sullen look.
«I don’t need you to catch me. I’m leaving.»
The girl was tense, seemingly ready to dash out of the building at any moment. What then? Was Olga supposed to run after her in the street, in a robe?
«Let’s talk,» said Olya, slowly approaching the child. «I don’t understand what happened. Did you want to go to the village, to your mom? Then wait until morning, and Misha will take you.»
«I don’t want to go to my mom,» Nadya’s face contorted. She tried not to cry. «Misha said he would try to arrange for me to stay with him. Then I heard your conversation. If Misha keeps me here, you’ll leave him. And I don’t want that either. Misha, he’s good, and it will be bad for him without you. So, I’m leaving. I’ll find an orphanage and ask them to take me in. I left now, at night, so you wouldn’t argue over me anymore. I already understood that you hate me.»
Olga looked at the girl as if seeing her for the first time. So, this was her character! Ready to leave just so her brother would be alright. That meant Nadya was kind. And what, actually, was irritating Olga about her? Bad habits, sloppiness? But how could cleanliness come from a girl who grew up with a drinking mother?
«You silly girl,» Olga said, wrapping herself in the terry robe and gently, trying not to startle her, hugged the girl’s shoulders.
«What made you think I hate you? I just don’t know you. Maybe give me another chance to get to know you better? Let’s start our acquaintance from scratch.»
Misha woke up in the morning and didn’t find his wife in bed. Fearing that she had gotten up early to move out from him, he left the bedroom. He found Olya in the bathroom teaching Nadya how to brush her teeth properly.
Misha stayed silent. He remained silent later when his wife and sister went to the kitchen, and Olya showed Nadya how to make pancakes for breakfast. This happened in a warm atmosphere. Olga joked with the girl, but very kindly. Misha even became confused, hearing Nadya’s laughter.
«Did something happen while I was asleep?» he asked slyly.
«While you were asleep, a lot happened,» Olya smiled back. «I asked Nadya to stay with us. And she agreed. Right, Nadya?» Olya winked at the girl. «So, Misha, you’ll have to work hard to make sure they can’t take Nadya away from us.»
A year passed.
Pushing a blue stroller ahead of her, Olga exited the building. Her son slept peacefully inside the stroller. But Olga’s gaze was anxious and peering into the distance. She was looking for Nadya, who hadn’t returned from school on time. Olga was tense and almost ran down the driveway until she saw a figure waving a shoe bag around the corner. Olga exhaled, and when Nadya approached, she yelled:
«Well, why? Why is your phone off? Why are you late? Do you have any idea how worried I was?»
«Olechka, I’m sorry, sorry,» the girl approached in a skip and briefly hugged Olga. «My phone died, and after lessons, we were held back. I was only a little late. Why are you worrying?»
«I always worry about you,» Olga waved her hand. «Better tell me, did you improve your grade in Russian?»
Olga wasn’t pretending; she was worried about Nadya. A year had passed, and she had come to love the girl as her own. Now it was hard for her to believe that there was a time when Nadya’s aloofness irritated her. It turns out kindness changes everything. It was enough to look at the girl with different eyes, and she became different too. She was a kind, bright child, now a part of Olga’s family.
