Having slammed against the deployed airbags, Lisa tried not to lose consciousness and looked at her husband, whom she had buried a week ago. She refused to believe her eyes. Could it be that she was dying? Was she joining him? The day she had received the terrible news replayed in her mind, as if something had pushed her into her memories, making her relive the pain all over again.
«Nooo!» — a loud, throat-tearing scream echoed throughout the apartment. «You’re lying! This can’t be happening! Impossible! My husband would never have left me! He wouldn’t have done this! He wouldn’t have just gone!»
Lisa slowly collapsed onto the floor, nearly losing consciousness. She just couldn’t believe this had happened to him… to them. Sasha was so young. How could he have died? Her husband’s boss had called her and told her that the ambulance hadn’t even arrived because it all happened too quickly. The clot had detached.
«There was nothing they could do: by the time the paramedics arrived, Alexander had already passed away,» her husband’s boss had said, and his words stretched in her mind, sounding like something from a horrible horror movie.
And now what? What was she supposed to do without him? Where should she go? She couldn’t breathe without him. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but Lisa didn’t feel them. Staring at one spot in front of her, she pressed the phone to her ear and remained silent, for she had no words. How she longed to hear that all of this was a lie… How she wanted to wake up from this nightmare and forget what she had just heard.
She wasn’t allowed into the morgue, and only at the funeral did Lisa confirm that it was really her husband. Until the last moment, she had believed he would return from work, that he would tell her it had been a silly joke, because what day was it?! April 1st! But could you joke about something like that? Well, never mind… She would forgive him… She would forgive him for everything, as long as he came back. But he didn’t. And now, he lay in the coffin, looking as if he were alive.
Lisa fell on her husband’s lifeless body and sobbed. She begged him to rise, asked him to come back to her. Several times, she lost consciousness and was revived with ammonia. Sasha’s mother could barely stand up herself. She tried to calm Lisa down but could barely hold herself together. Only his father kept pulling the daughter-in-law away from the coffin, begging her to pull herself together. He hugged her and asked her to accept what had happened as fact. And she broke down, ran back to him, and begged him to come back.
Lisa remembered the funeral itself like it was a fog. She saw the coffin being closed, screamed when they wouldn’t let her near him, begged them to lower her down with him… Because she couldn’t live anymore. She couldn’t. She hesitated a long time before throwing the earth onto the coffin lid, because that would mean she was letting go of her husband, accepting the fact that he was gone. And this horrifying truth just didn’t fit in her mind.
Returning to the empty apartment, Lisa tried to pull herself together, but she could only manage a few minutes. Slowly sliding down the wall, she remembered how she had met her husband.
“Excuse me, I think you dropped something?” — a pleasant male voice called out. “Miss?!” — Sasha smiled, making Lisa turn toward him.
She was walking in the park near the university, waiting for her classes, and mentally going over the material. It didn’t immediately register that he was calling to her, but when she turned around, she saw Sasha holding out a beautiful scarlet rose.
“I didn’t drop anything… It’s not mine,” Lisa started shaking her head.
“Now it’s yours!” — Sasha continued smiling. “You look so sad, I just wanted to cheer you up…”
Lisa blushed and took the flower. She didn’t even notice how quickly they had become acquainted, how the guy walked her to the university, then met her after classes, and offered to take a walk. It was love at first sight. The attractive young man with light hair, harmonious features, and big blue eyes completely knocked her out. And his voice was so melodic… Lisa would get lost in the timbre of his voice when Sasha talked about his life, his studies, his family… Walking her home, the young man confessed that she had gotten under his skin and that he wanted to see her again. And she agreed. They exchanged contacts and started communicating. Frequent meetings in the park or on the embankment quickly grew into warm romantic relationships. Sasha turned out to be a real romantic. He seemed to have stepped out of the pages of a love story. He dreamed of a great and bright connection, a strong family with many children. Definitely, one day.
But now there would be no more of that…
The smile caused by warm memories quickly disappeared from Lisa’s lips, and she began sobbing aloud again. It was incredibly difficult and painful for her to return from the past and face the cruel reality that had taken everything from her.
She and Sasha had been together for seven years. They had gotten married three years ago. The wedding had been modest, but they didn’t need luxury. They were the greatest treasure for each other. And now Lisa had lost what she loved most. A piece of her heart had been ripped away, and she was left to slowly fade away from the burning pain.
She didn’t remember how she got to bed and fell asleep. She woke up in the morning to the phone ringing and looked at the screen. It was work calling. Of course, her boss had taken her situation into account and allowed her to stay home until she was better, but her temporary replacement didn’t understand the paperwork and didn’t know how to do everything correctly.
“Hi, Lisa! This is Maxim! Can you talk? I have a question about work.”
“Go ahead!” — the young widow replied emotionlessly.
“There’s a small mix-up with the laminate reports, I don’t quite get where to enter the article number?”
Lisa felt absolutely no emotions. She didn’t even feel irritated that he couldn’t handle the basics. She simply explained how to do it correctly and hung up the phone. Collapsing onto the pillows again, Lisa looked at the empty spot beside her. It seemed there were no more tears, but her eyes still burned, as if someone had thrown a handful of sand into them. Lisa knew well what it felt like to get a generous portion of sand in her eyes. When she was little, a boy from the neighboring house would often come to play in their sandbox, which her father had built for her. One day, the children didn’t share something, and the boy threw a handful of sand into Lisa’s eyes. It was a horrible feeling.
Forcing herself to get up, Lisa staggered to the kitchen. She thought she should eat something, since she hadn’t eaten a crumb of bread in three days, but she felt nauseous. She didn’t even want to look at food, so she just drank a glass of water and returned to the room. She was afraid to flip through albums, to look at their photos and open videos on her phone, because she wouldn’t be able to hear his voice again… Although it still sounded in her ears. From time to time, it seemed like he was calling her, like he was behind her, but as soon as she turned around, she realized—he wasn’t there anymore. No more.
A week passed after her husband’s funeral, and to stop torturing herself, Lisa decided to go back to work. There, she could immerse herself in the tasks and completely disconnect from her emotions. She just became a mechanism, doing her duties and rejecting emotions. It was easier. Better to feel nothing at all than to burn from this unbearable pain. It was Friday, and Lisa decided to visit her parents after work to spend the weekend with them in the countryside. They had called her as soon as they heard the tragic news, but Lisa hadn’t agreed. They couldn’t leave their house to live with her, and she didn’t want anyone in their nest with Sasha. It would only make it harder with her mother’s sympathetic looks, followed by heavy sighs.
Lisa was driving on the highway and didn’t even notice how she lost focus, letting bitterness overwhelm her, giving the pain an outlet with her tears. She veered into the oncoming lane and didn’t see the truck coming her way. Lisa saw nothing ahead of her. It was like she had gone blind and was ready to leave this world. Maybe fate had decided to reunite the lovers? Or was Sasha calling her? Lisa didn’t understand what was happening to her at that moment. It seemed like there was nothing around her, even the sounds faded into an eerie silence.
Lisa only came to her senses when she heard her husband’s voice:
“Turn!” — Sasha shouted, and then the screeching of brakes was heard.
Sasha grabbed the steering wheel and turned the car to the side. Lisa couldn’t believe he was beside her again. Alive, seemingly, but strange, like an insubstantial ghost. His form, woven from fog, was frightening, but how badly she wanted him to stay by her side. At least like this.
The car swerved off course, but due to the sudden maneuver, it slid and hit the guardrail, almost flipping over. Luckily, her speed hadn’t been too high. The impact of the airbags momentarily cut off her air. A thin stream of blood ran down her forehead. Lisa looked at her husband, who sat in the passenger seat. These seconds seemed like an eternity—an eternity she didn’t want to part with.
“Did I die? Are we together again?” Lisa asked.
“You’re not dying yet! You’re needed here, you have someone to care for! You’re not alone! Promise me you won’t do reckless things anymore? You must live! You’re not alone. Remember that. I couldn’t stay with you and take care of you, now it’s your job. Let me go, and I will protect you from the heavens. And please — be happy. Don’t let the pain take your life. I want you to enjoy every day. No matter what, one day we’ll meet again,” her husband said and disappeared.
He melted into the air, and Lisa lowered her head onto the crumpled steering wheel and started crying because she had lost her connection with him again.
The car door opened, and Lisa heard someone shouting.
“Are you alive? Can you hear me?” — shouted a man about forty years old.
Lisa turned and froze, looking at the stranger. He was drenched with sweat and as pale as a whitewashed wall. Even his right eyelid was twitching, and it seemed that suddenly more gray hair had appeared on his head.
“Where did you get your license, reckless? Were you drunk? And the guy sitting next to you, where did he go? I saw a man! Where did he disappear to?”
For a moment, Lisa lingered on these words. So Sasha had really been there… It wasn’t her imagination. He had saved her life. Turning to the truck that had braked by the side of the road, Lisa realized in horror that she could have already been crushed on the road.
“Idiot! Who drives like this? Why did you swerve into the oncoming lane? You almost gave me a heart attack! I’ve got a wife and kids at home, and here you are! They’d put me in jail for you! Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop a monster like this? Why are you silent? Are you deaf or dumb?”
Lisa just shook her head and tried to get out of the car. She was shaking with a feverish tremor. The truck driver gave her his knitted sweater to keep her warm while they waited for the traffic police and an ambulance.
When they arrived, inspections and interrogations began…
Lisa admitted responsibility for failing to manage the car on the highway and nearly becoming a victim of her own inattention. She only kept quiet about the fact that her husband’s spirit had saved her.
The car was towed to the impound lot, and Lisa was taken to the hospital since she showed severe exhaustion and dehydration. The truck driver was calmed with sedatives, and he decided to stop at the nearest gas station for the night — he could no longer continue driving in his condition.
The next day, Lisa’s parents rushed to the hospital.
“We’re taking you home with us, and don’t you dare argue! I almost died when I found out what you’ve done to yourself! Sasha wouldn’t want you torturing yourself like this,” her mother cried.
Lisa remembered her husband’s farewell look and his words… Maybe he meant that she should take care of her parents…
While her mother literally forced her to eat chicken broth, which she had been cooking since early morning — «From home-raised poultry, by the way!» — as her mother had said, the doctor entered the room. He looked at Lisa and shook his head.
“You’ll have to stay here for another week or two to replenish your vitamins. You can’t afford this kind of stress, as there’s a serious risk of losing the baby.”
“The baby?” — Lisa gasped.
“You’re seven weeks pregnant. Didn’t you know?”
“Pregnant…” Lisa whispered, hugged her mother, and burst into tears, burying her face in her shoulder. “Mom, I’m pregnant! Sasha’s gone, but he left me with a baby…”
At that moment, tears of happiness flowed from Lisa’s eyes. This was who her husband had meant! This was who she needed to care for now! Their little one!
And she silently promised her husband that for the baby, she would pull herself together. Although it would be incredibly hard to cope with the pain, she would manage and tell their daughter or son what an amazing person their father had been.
