Lyudmila was awakened by the barking of a dog. She glanced groggily at the clock—it was only eight in the evening. She had fought sleepiness all day after her shift and had dozed off. Oh, the trouble… Now she wouldn’t be able to sleep until midnight. The dog continued to tear at his throat, but somehow joyfully yelping as if he saw a familiar person.
«Did someone unwanted bring you here? Or are you hungry? I didn’t feed him in the evening…»
Throwing on a jacket, Lyudmila stepped into the porch and grabbed a bag of dry food. There wasn’t much food left on the table—her son had joined the army, no one to cook for.
«Here I come, calm down! Yasen, where are you?»
But Yasen wasn’t thinking about food. The dog barked pointedly towards the gate. Seeing his owner, he wagged his tail even more vigorously, but didn’t move from his spot. Lyudmila squinted into the darkness through the picket fence on the side—there seemed to be the outline of a figure behind the gate.
«Who’s there? Are you coming to me? Quiet, Yasen, I’ll show you!»— wrapping herself tighter in the jacket, Lyudmila shouted.
How cold it is, oh my goodness! It snapped coldly against the ground! As Lyudmila, dropping the food bag at the gate, moved the bolt, she heard footsteps crunching on the snow moving away from her. She managed to see that a slim figure was running into the darkness, the bag bouncing in her hand.
«Hey, hey, woman, wait! What did you want?»
The figure moved even faster, breaking into a trot. Lyudmila—after her. What an oddity?
«Would you stop!»—panting, demanded Lyudmila. «Oh, forget you…»
And then the figure, having run a few more steps, stopped and stood still, head bowed as if her strength had run out. The bag slipped from her hand, silently sinking into the snow. Lyudmila blinked in confusion, approached closer. She turned the stranger towards herself.
«Polina! What a surprise! What is it? I thought: what woman is this, but it’s you, girl. So what do you want? At least look at me!»
Polina still stood dejectedly, her eyes downcast. Lyudmila knew her, had seen her a few times with her son. They seemed to have dated… At least her son had shown interest. But it all ended abruptly three months before the draft, and Vovka, her son, had time to flirt with another. Oh, he was flighty, changing girls effortlessly.
«So, what did you want, Pol? To talk to Vova? They took him to the army a month ago, didn’t you know?»
«I knew. I came to you…» Polina said timidly, still not lifting her eyes.
Lyudmila’s first thought was—maybe something happened to Vovka, and she isn’t aware yet? Her heart suddenly turned cold.
«What is it? Come on, talk!»
Polina raised a miserable look at her and opened her mouth, inhaling the cold air, when suddenly the wind picked up snow from the ground behind Lyudmila and, swirling in one whirlwind, hit Polina’s face with stinging snowflakes. Lyudmila, obeying some maternal instinct, grabbed the girl’s hand—it was icy, almost numb.
«Oh, child! Let’s go inside, why stand here in the cold! I’ll take your bag, you go ahead, just wait at the gate—I’ll hold the dog. He’s usually peaceful, but just in case.»
Yasen greeted the night guest with joyful barking, wagging his tail as hard as he could in the shape of a donut.
«Go on, go!—commanded Lyudmila,—into the porch and to the left, the door, undress there. I’ll feed the dog.»
Polina, shyly, nodded and began to climb the porch.
«What about you, eh? What?»—petted the dog Lyudmila,— «my good boy! Who’s a good boy? You! You! Let’s go under the shelter. Where’s your bowl? Alright, eat, you’ve earned it.»
Then Lyudmila’s gaze became worried. She looked at the kitchen window, in which a figure wrapped in warmth flickered.
«What is she doing out here at this time of night?»—thought Lyudmila anxiously again.
When the owner returned to the house, the guest was already standing undressed, clutching her winter coat. Above, touching the floor, her colorful scarf fell. Lyudmila left Polina’s bag at the threshold.
«Forgive me, I think poorly after sleep,» approached the kitchen unit Lyudmila,— «it knocked me out after a day. Throw the coat on the chair and sit down. Shall we have some tea? Or are you hungry? I have mashed potatoes with cutlets, though from yesterday.»
«No, I’m not hungry, thank you, but I’ll have tea if it’s not too much trouble.»
«Sit down, I’ll be right back,» commanded Lyudmila and began to light the gas stove.
They spent a couple of minutes in silence. Lyudmila took out tea bags, arranged them in mugs. How long will this child sit silently? Seventeen-eighteen years old? She looks completely like a child, closed, shy.
«And I, you know, left my parents. They kicked me out,» Polina suddenly spoke, tracing a pattern on the tablecloth with her pink finger. «They said, if you don’t want to get an abortion, go to the one with whom you got pregnant, and they won’t deal with this mess. Hm,» she chuckled at the end, trying to suppress tears.
«What abortion? What are you talking about, child?»—froze Lyudmila with a sugar packet (wanted to add to the sugar bowl, but there was some left at the bottom).
«Just an ordinary one. I will have a child from your Vova.»
Lyudmila bristled like a hen, head askew. What a news! Then even the kettle behind her whistled, she nearly dropped that sugar. Turned everything off, sat opposite Polina. Eyes—like two grandmother’s yarn balls for knitting. And the guest was not looking straight, sitting all clenched, freckles on her pale skin stood out clearly, reddish eyelashes trembled, and Polina herself was red-haired, not very beautiful, but cozy, sweet girl. Her eyes had a sad slant, the outer corners dropped down, lips very thin, lost among all this freckled riot. Yes, not very beautiful… But you look at her—and immediately want to smile because she’s warm and pleasant like the sun.
«He courted me, you know. I thought he liked me… I’ve been in love with him for a long time, since the seventh grade… And it turns out, he bet a can of gasoline with the guys that he would… well, you understand. He would be my first. And he got his way—he got me drunk, talked me into it, and I, the naive fool, listened… The next day your Vova was already hugging another, and he looked at me with a smirk, like ‘what’s the big deal? We’re free people, I didn’t promise you anything’.»
Lyudmila sighed deeply and could only muster:
«Oh!»
Polina, emboldened, raised her eyes to Lyudmila:
«I didn’t realize right away that I was pregnant. I still had my period, sort of… it was spotty, not on schedule. I thought it was a glitch, it had happened to me before. Then I figured I should take a test. My mom took me to the gynecologist today… Twelve weeks… it’s still possible… but I can’t kill this child. Such a scandal at home! Oh, what daddy yelled!.. cursed!»
Polina pressed her hand to her mouth, all crumpled. Lyudmila didn’t know what to insert.
«In general, they kicked me out on the spot. Where can I go here? They think I’ll walk around and come to my senses, but no! I can go to my grandmother, she lives in Lipki, far away, can’t make it today. Could you shelter me for one night, if you can?»
Lyudmila, finally understanding what was specifically required of her, perked up.
«Yes, of course stay! And not just for one night, but as long as you need. What am I—a place will be found for you in a three-room house?»
«Thank you.»
«And I’ll talk to Vovka, I’ll call that scoundrel tomorrow. I’ll make him marry you after the army, you see!»
«No need. He doesn’t love me. I don’t want to marry that way.»
«Well, you know,»—Lyudmila argued businesslike, pouring boiling water into the forgotten cups,— «you now need to put your wishes aside—that’s what I tell you as a mother who raised a son. You had your fun, you danced, and that will be from you. Now adult life has arrived, responsibility. Vova will return from the army, God willing, smarter, more mature. What is he now? A boy with the wind between his ears. But in the army, they’ll knock all the nonsense out of him. Your main thing now is not to get nervous. I forgot—you’re still studying at the technical college, right? We meet each other on the bus.»
«Yes, third year.»
«And in which one?»
«In medical.»
«Well look at you! Colleagues, then! I work as a senior nurse in the county hospital, in the surgery department. Small world!»
«That’s for sure.»
They chatted about small things, Polina was not talkative—she was shy. They started getting ready for bed.
«I’ll make up Vova’s bed for you, he has a good bed.»
«Thank you.»
«And you have classes tomorrow?»
«Yep.»
«And I’m asked to cover at work until evening. So, we’ll go by bus together. Well, sleep, rest, and don’t think about anything. Morning is wiser than the evening, maybe your parents will calm down, they’ll come to apologize tomorrow themselves.»
Polina remained silent. How much her father had scolded her… Hurt her deeply.
Lyudmila couldn’t sleep until late. She wrote a long letter to her son, scolded him, explained how to live properly, reminded him of his father’s departure—what it was like for him, the boy, to grow up fatherless. Does this child deserve the same?
«In general, Vova, don’t disappoint me completely. I’ve endured your antics enough, stop fooling around, you’ll return from the army already a father and take the family under your control. Be a man!»
And Polina stood in his room, walked back and forth, examined his little world up close. Still loved him. It seemed to her that there was still the scent of Vova in that room—persistent, tart, unbridled… Then she lay down on his bed and tried to sleep, hugging his pillow. And wanted to strangle him, and… forgive. And she would have forgiven, if he had grown up.
In the morning on the way to the bus stop, they were awaited by a surprise—Polina’s neighbor met them, quite shameless and bold.
«Polka! Alive! And walking by herself, such a goat! Do you even know that your parents were looking for you all night, wore themselves out? They turned the whole village upside down! And she walks as if nothing happened! Go home! Mother is on valerian, I heard they were planning to go to the police in the morning.»
«I won’t go!»—Polina turned away and walked on. Lyudmila was surprised: the girl had a backbone.
«They offended me and said they didn’t want to see me anymore, so why were they looking?»
The neighbor’s eyes bulged out.
«Look at her, all high and mighty! I, by the way, was with them! Where were you?»
«Tell them I went where they sent me!»
The neighbor opened her mouth again, but Lyudmila shushed her:
«She was with me, don’t get heated!»
«And why was she with you…»
«Let the parents come in the evening, tell them. We’ll talk then. Come on, or we’ll miss the bus.»
They returned by the same bus, without arranging—it just happened that way. At the gate, Polina’s parents were already waiting: father furious, mother on edge.
«That’s it, Polya, you showed character, scared us and your mother to death and that’ll be from you,» grumbled the father to the accompaniment of dog barking. «I forgive you for this incident, I’m also to blame, said too much. Come on… gather your things and we’ll go to the hospital tomorrow to get rid of this misunderstanding.»
«I won’t go!»
«What is this you’ve done?»—squealed the mother, «don’t you know I have a heart?»
«Where would a heart come from if you want to…»
«Quiet, quiet, let’s calm down…»—Lyudmila tried to calm them. «Let’s go into the yard and talk, okay? So no one hears.»
Polina’s mother glanced at her:
«So it turns out it’s from your cur?.. Good job raising your son, can’t say otherwise. And she kept denying it, kept kicking back! Made it a big secret! Probably ashamed of such a daddy!»
«Mom!»
«Come on, Polya, it’s all clear here,» said Lyudmila, hugging the girl by the waist and heading for the gate.
«No, where are you going? HOME, Polina!»
«Let go! You have no right!»—she broke free from her father’s splayed hands, «I’m already eighteen, so I’ll live where I want!»
«Like you’re needed here as a freeloader!»—the mother was outraged. «Have pity on the person! How much salary does that nurse have?»
«It’s okay, it’s okay,»—Lyudmila argued, pushing Polina into the yard, «there will be a plate of soup. But she won’t take the sin on her soul—she’ll give birth to the child. And I’ll help as I can, we won’t starve.»
«Polina! Daughter!»—the father called over the fence, «don’t ruin your life! Think about it!»
No one answered him, only the dog Yasen barked fiercely, protecting his owner and her new daughter.
«Well there you go!»—thought Lyudmila, «what a girl! She came to me like a pure lamb, barely bleating about her fate, and submissive like an angel. And the very next day, she showed such teeth that mom would not grieve! What a character!»
Two weeks passed, and Lyudmila received a reply from her son. After reading it, she crumpled it into a fist, her eyes blackened with anger. He wrote not to make things up and send the girl back to her parents, and he was not eager to marry yet. «Especially since I don’t love her, we are berries of different fields. I’m a cheerful, mischievous, simple guy, well, you know yourself. And Polka? She’s as boring as a history textbook. Don’t bother, mom, and don’t interfere in my life. Send her to hell.»
«What does he write, Aunt Lyud? It’s a letter from Vova, right?»—Polina asked, seeing the envelope.
«He… is impressed. Nothing special. Says if it’s a son, to name him Kiryusha.»
«Really?»—Polina raised an eyebrow. «And if it’s a girl?»
«Katya,»—Lyudmila lied on the fly.
«In that case, may I write to him too? Give me the address.»
«No! Polina! You young people only mess things up.»
And she added more conciliatorily, with a smile:
«Later, okay? Let him digest everything properly. He still has almost two years to serve, you’ll have time.»
And so they lived. Polina’s belly grew… Parents, secretly from their daughter, began slipping Lyudmila money for her upkeep. They reconciled, repented, but could not find a point of reconciliation.
«I don’t need them! We’ll manage ourselves!»—Lyudmila refused.
«Take it, Lyud, my conscience torments me!—begged the mother,—at least we’ll help her somehow, the poor girl!»
«Alright, I’ll put it aside for the child.»
Spring was approaching, and that meant that soon the whole village would be assured of Polina’s pregnancy. People were already gossiping… What would happen next? Some malicious tongues eagerly awaited the return of the culprit of this masquerade—Vladimir.
And a year passed in pleasant troubles. Polina changed during this time: her face became more mature, childhood left, and her thoughts changed—she became more soberly looking into the future. Did she need that Vova? Why was she waiting for him? Even if he came to meet her, would a happy family work out? With a deceiver and a betrayer?
«I was thinking, Polina,»—her father said on Katya’s birthday, holding the granddaughter in his arms, pampering her, «you should go back to school. Re-enroll in the technical college. Why are you sitting around? We’ll manage with Katya, she has so many nannies!»
Everyone supported him. Polina agreed with joy, she herself wanted to get a diploma and go to work, to somehow become independent, hanging on everyone’s neck was embarrassing.
She returned from school one late November evening, and her mother tells her that Vova has returned from the army.
«Did he stop by?»—Polina was frightened. She had been waiting for this hour every day, all autumn, like on needles.
«Where there… Lyudmila said—he’s celebrating his return with friends.»
A day passed, a second… Polina was scared to even walk down the street, especially since the villagers were looking at her somehow sideways, with interest—what will happen next? Lyudmila also disappeared, showed up on the third day.
«Wait a little, Polina,»—she said distressed, «this representative of the human breed has temporarily lost his human form from happiness on the occasion of his return. He went to his friends, drinking non-stop.»
«Does he have plans?»
«Yep, there are… He said, he’ll move to the city. They promised him a job there. You just don’t get upset.»
«I wasn’t going to,»—Polina objected. «I don’t need anything from him anymore. But I wonder… Doesn’t he want to see his own child at all?»
«Well, he’s celebrating that too, Pol… The birth of a daughter,»—Lyudmila was completely ashamed for her son.
And so Vladimir left, never once seeing the child. Polina saw him from afar once—and bolted in the opposite direction. She didn’t have the strength to endure his gaze. She suddenly realized that she had still hoped for at least a human relationship, if not apologies, then at least a «hello, how are you?» Oh, she would have told him about her affairs…
A memorable meeting between father and daughter did take place. In the spring, Polina went to Lyudmila’s after school to pick up her daughter—and there was Vova. He sat on the carpet, playing with the girl. When he saw Polina, he tensed up. Lyudmila froze in the kitchen over a frying pan, making pancakes. And Polina couldn’t utter a word, just opened her mouth.
«And we have, as you see, dear guests,»—explained Lyudmila,— «we didn’t expect, but he came.»
And already in an excited whisper, to Polina’s ear she said: «He, you know, is normal with her… And Katya, imagine, climbed into his arms. I just saw that he melted!»
«Ugh…»—Polina stretched doubtfully.
«Hello,»—said Vova, holding out his hand, on which the girl was jumping.
«Hello.»
«We are playing.»
«I’m with uncle!»—declared the happy Katya.
«I see, I see.»
Polina sat down with them. One face: both daughter and father. Fair-haired.
«Does she look like me, right?»—said Vova.
«There’s some resemblance.»
«What resemblance! One face!»—inserted Lyudmila. «I have childhood photos…»
«We have to go, maybe some other time,»—objected Polina. She was suddenly overwhelmed by offense and anger. He’s sitting here! Thinks it’s that simple?! She took the child, kissed her on the cheek, and stood up. «Let’s go, Katya, time to go home.»
«Bye, uncle!»
Vova also stood up.
«Wait, Pol. Let’s go out, I want to talk.»
They went out to the porch.
«If you think…»
«I’m not thinking,»—interrupted her Vova. «Just wanted to apologize for… well, you know. There won’t be a family without love, I don’t want it, you probably don’t either… And there’s another one for me.»
Polina gritted her teeth at such straightforwardness.
«File for child support, I’ll pay. What’s the child’s surname?»
«My surname! Makshanova!»
«Clear. And the patronymic?»—he asked hopefully.
«Vladimirovna,»—Polina hissed through her teeth.
«Well, thank you for that. You won’t forbid me to see the daughter?»
«What will you tell her when she grows up? Who are you to her?»
«Dad. Who else?»
«Hm… Also me. Alright.»
That’s where they decided. Polina swallowed the last pain, the most bitter, with broken hopes. You have to live on!
After receiving her diploma, Polina started working. Thanks to Lyudmila’s connections, she got a job in the same hospital where the would-be mother-in-law worked. Mother-in-law or not, they remained close friends… It was Lyudmila who introduced her to her future husband.
«Come to our department at least once! We have a new surgeon! Young, handsome, kind!»
«What does he need me for, with a child?»
«And I told him about you, he knows everything!»
By hook or by crook, Lyudmila dragged Polina to her for tea. They met on the go. Liked him. But things didn’t go further—both were too shy. Then Lyudmila took matters into her own hands: drive me, she said, with feed!
«For the animals, it’s run out, I didn’t watch! Can you imagine what a rascal! You love animals, right? And they’ve been hungry since morning, and it’s unknown when a car will come to our village. It’s only twenty minutes to the settlement, and you have a car… We’ll quickly stop by the base on the way… I’ll pay!»
While chattering, she blushed all over! And blurted out such nonsense!
And the young doctor, kind… Agreed. Only refused to take money.
«Then we’ll also take my Polya, what’s she to do, waiting for the bus…»
On the way, Lyudmila praised Polina in every way: and she’s such a smart girl, and this and that, and a beauty like no other! Well, about the beauty maybe she overdid it… But Polka really became prettier, learned to highlight her advantages. The surgeon, smiling shyly, glanced at Polina. Both were uncomfortable. Lyudmila intentionally seated Polina in front, next to him.
And things clicked! On the weekend, the young man came to them himself, asked Lyudmila for Polina’s address. Liked the red-haired nurse. And how not to get interested if the goods are so highly praised? They married a year later. Polina moved to the city to her husband. Katya now has two daddies: one who gave birth and whom she resembles, and the other takes care of her and her mom. She sees one every six months, and the other every day… And recently mom asked who she wants—a sister or a brother? And shows her belly getting bigger.
«Will he also have two dads?»—Katya asked seriously.
«I hope not,»—chuckled Polina.
«Then let’s have a brother.»
«Why?»
«So he won’t be upset. I’ll tell him that all girls are entitled to two dads because we need to be loved and protected, but boys will do with one, they are men—they can stand up for themselves.»
