— Yulia, I’ve prepared a surprise for you! — said the mother-in-law with a strange and slightly frightening tone. — I know you love surprises! You’re definitely going to like this one!
Yulia looked skeptically at her husband’s inexplicably cheerful mother, who was also oddly dressed—in a white medical coat and bright, multicolored polka-dot trousers.
Arina Mikhaylovna stood in the doorway of her apartment and was clearly tipsy.
— Arina Mikhaylovna? — the daughter-in-law wondered as she scrutinized her mother-in-law. — What’s gotten into you? And what’s the occasion for such merriment? And you’ve even come up with a surprise. Why? After all, you’ve never loved me! — Yulia was bold and spoke without reservation.
— I’m having fun because as soon as you see my surprise, everything will finally fall into place. And I’ve been waiting for that!
Arina Mikhaylovna laughed so heartily that the daughter-in-law got goosebumps. Then, with confident steps, she strode into Yulia’s bedroom along with her son Vyacheslav.
— Now, open it! — the inebriated woman pointed to a large built-in wardrobe, to which she had absolutely no connection.
— What do you mean? — Yulia was surprised by her mother-in-law’s insolent act.
— Come on, come on, don’t dawdle! Open it; a surprise awaits you.
Suspecting something was amiss, Yulia dashed to the wardrobe and, upon opening it, was stunned.
All her clothes were wrinkled and marred by some terrifying dark stains, and some were simply torn to shreds!
— What is this? — gasped Yulia and finally… woke up.
The bedroom was unusually dark and stuffy. Slava had somehow drawn the night curtains, even though his wife didn’t like that—she preferred to see the sky and stars as she fell asleep. And the window was closed, even though Yulia clearly remembered leaving it on the ventilation setting before going to bed.
— Slava, Slava? — she reached out for her sleeping husband nearby. — Where are you? Why did you close the window? It’s unbearably stuffy. You know how much I love the cool air.
She needed reassurance. The strange dream had pulled her from a blissful sleep and, for some reason, greatly disturbed her.
But where her husband should have been—peacefully snoring and caught up in his tenth dream—there was emptiness. The bed had even cooled down, indicating that Slava had gotten up long ago.
— I don’t understand. But where is he? — the woman said in astonishment, not yet fully recovered from sleep.
The bedroom door was ajar, but Yulia could clearly see that there was no light anywhere in their small apartment. Not in any room. Everywhere there was an ominous, frightening darkness.
Yulia got up and decided to search for her missing husband. What if he needed help and was lying in the living room or in the hall, unable to move?
“Ridiculous! What kind of thoughts are these? Surely he must have gone to the bathroom with his phone. I told him—don’t drink so much beer at night. No way! He drinks and drinks like he’s out of his mind!” she thought as she moved through the apartment in search of her husband.
Imagine her surprise—and even perplexity—when she didn’t find Slava in the toilet or the bathroom.
— I don’t get the humor… What’s going on? — the woman looked around at the empty rooms in bewilderment. — Has he been abducted by aliens? What a fine mess! The wife is sleeping peacefully, and the husband has disappeared to who-knows-where.
Yulia even went to the balcony to check if perhaps he was there. The door was tightly closed, and there was no one on the balcony.
— What wonders! What is happening?
Trying not to panic and hoping that the situation would soon become clear, she found her cell phone and dialed her husband’s number.
Her fingers wouldn’t obey; she began to tremble. No matter how hard Yulia tried to calm herself, it was in vain. Panic started to grip the woman, who was completely overwhelmed with fear.
When the call to her husband finally went through, another shock awaited her. She even jumped in surprise and gasped. The phone lay quietly on the small table in the hall, silently vibrating.
— He left without his cell! How is that possible? Slava never goes anywhere without it! — Yulia stared at the gadget in disbelief.
She picked it up and tried to check the call and message history to see who her husband had last contacted. But, unfortunately, she couldn’t discover anything new or interesting.
— And what now? — she asked the picture of the beautiful girl standing in the rays of the setting sun, with a foolish expression. The beauty remained silent.
Yulia began pacing back and forth in the apartment, unable to settle down from worry. Then she sat on the sofa and started thinking.
Maybe Slava had said something to her that evening, and she just hadn’t paid attention?
— Okay, I need to concentrate and try to remember what he told me. What did he say? Nothing! We sat in silence all evening. I was texting with Dashka, and he was once again browsing his favorite car website.
She desperately wanted to share what had happened with someone, to hear words of support and at least some theory about where to look for her missing husband. But when she glanced at the clock, Yulia realized it was too late to call anyone—it was three in the morning.
Thinking logically, she decided to check what clothes and shoes her husband had disappeared in. And then another shock: Slava had left in his home clothes and slippers—the ones he always wore at home.
— I just don’t understand any of this! Has he really been abducted? What normal person leaves home in the middle of the night in their pajamas and slippers without taking his cell? Who can answer that? Am I going crazy? Slava, where are you?
Yulia shouted these words quite loudly, as she was beginning to have a mild breakdown.
Suddenly, in the deafening silence, she heard a noise. Yulia didn’t immediately understand what it was. Then she dashed to the hall, hoping to see Vyacheslav coming home safe and sound. After all, the entrance door was creaking.
But when she ran to the door, Yulia sadly saw that the hall was empty. However… the entrance door was slightly ajar.
— My God! How did I not notice that sooner? I’ve walked past it several times.
Yulia looked out into the stairwell. It was quiet. No one! Not a soul! So her husband must have left somewhere, leaving the door unlocked. Otherwise, it would have been bolted, and he would have had to unlock it with a key—waking Yulia, who always slept very lightly.
— So, so… Where on earth did my dear husband go off to, practically in his underwear and slippers, and without closing the door behind him? Did he decide to take out the trash in the middle of the night? Maybe he had a silly dream too? What if he’s a sleepwalker? What a mess! — one absurd theory after another raced through the woman’s agitated mind.
Yulia even leaned toward the kitchen window, from where she could clearly see the entire courtyard. Vyacheslav was not there. And there was no one—the city was sleeping peacefully.
There was only one possibility—her husband was somewhere nearby, perhaps even in one of the neighboring apartments.
She went out into the entrance hall and quietly walked past all the apartments on her floor, listening for any sounds. Then she went down one floor and did the same. After that, she climbed to the top floor, checking all five floors of her building. Everywhere was silent. Only from one apartment, where a young couple had recently had a baby, could she hear some noise. The parents were too awake to sleep.
Returning home, Yulia sat down to wait for her missing husband. She was sure that sooner or later he would return, and then… then he would get it!
To calm her nerves a bit, the bewildered woman took a half-finished bottle from the refrigerator and poured herself some wine into a large goblet. Then, after a moment’s thought, she drank it almost in one gulp. A warmth spread through her chest, and Yulia even managed to look at the situation with humor.
— Really, like in a joke, oh my! — she giggled, adding a bit of a soothing agent to her goblet.
In the stillness of the night, all sounds were heard clearly and distinctly. Twenty minutes later, Yulia heard a door opening in one of the apartments on the lower floor. Like a cat trying to be silent, she dashed down the stairs and witnessed a rather telling scene.
Her dear husband was now tenderly embracing the neighbor, Lena, seemingly saying goodbye to her after a wonderful time together.
— Slava, I’ll miss you, — whispered the neighbor, flushed after their pleasant encounter.
— Me too, — he said, clinging to the other woman as if she were his.
The enamored couple was completely unaware that an incensed wife was watching them, barely containing her anger.
— Now you must try to return home unnoticed. Can you do that? — Lena quietly asked Slava.
— I’ll try; maybe it’s not the first time, — the man replied with a laugh.
Yulia could no longer tolerate this mockery.
— Ah, there you are, dear! And here I thought you’d been kidnapped! — the wife declared loudly, looking down at the lovebirds from above.
Both, caught off guard and not expecting such a twist, were momentarily confused, dumbfounded, and staring at Yulia.
That was all the time she needed to pounce like a tigress, rushing down to grab her rival by the long hair that lay in a coquettish wave on her shoulders.
— Aaaah! — Lena shrieked throughout the entrance. — Help! Slava, save me! Help!
— Yulia, stop what you’re doing! — Slava stammered, trying to remove his furious wife from the back of his companion.
Yulia managed to sit so deftly on the neighbor, grabbing her by the hair, that it wasn’t easy to shake her off. Meanwhile, she didn’t forget to administer heavy slaps to her victim, declaring:
— I’ll show you how to deceive me! I’ll arrange for you to have nighttime rendezvous!
She also managed to use her legs. Skillfully, she managed to kick Vyacheslav, who was spinning nearby, unsure how to separate the two women. The kick landed squarely in the eye.
— Ladies, please, calm down! Stop fighting! — the man pleaded, dancing around while rubbing his bruise, but it was all in vain.
Screams, noise, and shouts soon woke up the entire building. Neighbors began peering out in surprise and discontent. Some, deciding to watch the outcome of the fight, even stepped out onto the landing. The men laughed, making bets on one or the other rival. The women gasped and pleaded for someone to break up the brawl.
— They’re about to kill each other! Do something already! Why are you just standing there, men!
— What, Slava, did you finally get what you deserved? — joked an elderly neighbor. — Don’t you know the saying: “don’t behave like the one where you live.” Now, here’s your problem.
— All you men are the same, always looking for a place to settle, — his wife retorted indignantly, standing right there.
— Were you trying to catch me? Huh? To make such claims? Look, you got carried away. Go home, stop staring! — her husband replied, shoving his wife toward his apartment door.
Finally, Yulia exhaled and let her victim go. The neighbor looked miserable—her face scratched, her hair quite disheveled, and a bruise beginning to redden under her eye. Yulia had also been hit, but at that moment she felt no pain.
Stunned by the events, the betrayed wife silently walked through the crowd of onlookers and headed home. Slava obediently followed her. A confrontation even worse than the one that had just occurred awaited him.
But the wife decided she’d had enough. It wasn’t worth spending any more energy on her husband.
— Yul, you… — Slava began uncertainly as he entered the apartment.
— Don’t even start! Don’t open your mouth! Just gather your things in silence and get out! — Yulia declared, still overwhelmed by her emotions.
— You won’t forgive me? — Slava tried once more. — That Lena, she seems to have bewitched me, hypnotized me. I didn’t mean to, honestly! I never intended to go to her. I don’t know how it happened. I wasn’t myself when I went to her. Listen, maybe she’s a sorceress?
— Oh, don’t make me laugh! Even if she did cast a spell on you and muddled your mind.
— Forgive me? — Slava asked again hopefully.
— Forgive? Are you completely out of your mind? Do people forgive such things?! I never want to see or hear from you again. I simply can’t. And you talk about forgiveness! We’ll sell this apartment; I can’t live here after such disgrace. And you, get out right now. That’s only fair. You messed up, and you must leave.
And then, rather inopportunely, Yulia suddenly remembered that silly dream with her mother-in-law.
— Well, that dream came in handy! — she exclaimed in surprise. — See, don’t trust dreams! Oh, mother-in-law! At least in one thing, I got something good from you. You woke me up in time.
Yulia and Vyacheslav soon divorced and sold their shared apartment. And for a long time afterward, all the residents of that building recalled the farcical incident that had occurred with their neighbors.
And as a warning to husbands, wives often said—don’t behave like Slava, or you’ll end up badly.»
