– Denis, did you get the chocolate roll?»
«– No, you said you bought it to treat the girls at work. I didn’t touch it,» reported the husband while peeking out from the bathroom.
«Nika spent half an hour rummaging through the kitchen, unable to find the roll she had purchased last night.»
«– That’s exactly it. I meant to take it to work, but I left it at home this morning, and now it’s nowhere to be found.»
The girl looked confused at the open kitchen cupboard.
«– Maybe you did take it?» the husband doubted, also peering into the cupboard.
«– I’m still with my wits about me, and I clearly remember leaving it on the table when I left the house. But now it’s gone…»
The spouses looked at the dining table. It was completely empty.
«– It’s all clear now! We’ve been robbed,» Denis smirked as he looked at his wife. «We need to call the police immediately, get some witnesses, and make a complete inventory of all the missing items.»
«– You’re joking!» grumbled Nika as she patted her husband on the shoulder. The thing was, she actually worked in the police. «I’ve already checked everything; nothing else is missing.»
«– I know!» exclaimed Denis, mischievous sparks dancing in his eyes. «Carlson flew in, the one who lives on the roof!»
Nika smiled.
«– Then I must have checked in the wrong place. We need to count the cookies in the cupboard and the jam jars!»
The spouses laughed a little more and soon forgot about the mysterious disappearance of the roll.
«– Denis, you’ve got some nerve. I took that bubble bath foam for myself, and you drink it like water!» Nika complained one evening. «Besides, it has a feminine scent—if you need foam, just say so, and I’ll buy you a bottle.»
«– I’ve never touched your foam in my life. Besides, I mostly take showers, so why would I need your foam?» replied the husband.
«– Then where is it disappearing to?» the girl was puzzled. «I used to get enough from one bottle for several months, but now it doesn’t even last a month, even though I’ve taken at most about five baths with it.»
«– It’s the house spirit!» declared the husband, hugging his wife.
«– Denis, that’s not funny!» Nika got angry. «After that incident with the roll, I started noticing other strange things. I leave the glasses in the kitchen cupboard in one order, but when I come home, they are arranged completely differently. And also, the groceries seem to be running out a bit faster.»
«– I’m telling you, the house spirit is playing tricks,» Denis said, no longer as confidently. He knew his wife was not one to panic.
«– And also, for a whole week I couldn’t find my chiffon scarf and the gold earrings with diamonds that you gave me on our wedding anniversary. I looked in the jewelry box every day—they were gone—and then last night I opened the box and they were back in place! How do you explain that?»
«– And you found the scarf too?» inquired a completely flustered Denis.
«– Just imagine! It wasn’t lying where it usually is—it was hanging in the hallway on the coat rack!» Nika announced ceremoniously.
«– I don’t know what to say. Somehow, all this doesn’t really look like the work of thieves,» the man said, shaking his head.
«– That’s exactly what I’m saying!» Nika declared triumphantly.
«– Deniska, let’s go to the movies today,» Nika said, pressing the phone to her ear with her shoulder while simultaneously searching for her keys to the building and her apartment in her purse.
«– Wow, did they let you leave work early?» her husband rejoiced.
«– Yes, can you imagine? The boss softened up. He allowed me to leave early in memory of the festive overtime.»
«– Alright, it’s settled. I’m heading home now. In the meantime, you boil the kettle,» he said, giving valuable instructions before disconnecting the call.
«– There they are!» the girl exclaimed happily, finally pulling out a keychain from her purse.
Nika hurried up the stairs. In her head, she ran through a list of things she needed to do before her husband returned.
When Nika opened the door, she froze. It was obvious that someone was in the apartment. But who? Her husband was still at work. She had just spoken with him, and there was no one else…
«Could it be burglars?» a troubling thought flashed through her mind.
She carefully inspected the lock. It had not been forced.
«– Strange, would a burglar have our keys? I distinctly remember locking the door.»
Nika looked around. The apartment was in perfect order, with no signs of a break-in.
In the bathroom, water was running and the entire apartment smelled of foam—the very foam that had been disappearing at an alarming rate over the past few months. The TV was on in the kitchen and the clatter of dishes could be heard. It was clear that an uninvited guest was right there.
Trying to be as quiet as possible, Nika took off her shoes and went into the kitchen. She cautiously peeked around the corner and froze…
Elena Fedorovna, Denis’s mother and, by extension, Nika’s mother-in-law, was nonchalantly brewing tea in a glass. A vase with cookies and a saucer of sandwiches were on the table. She was so absorbed in the television that she hadn’t heard the hostess approaching from behind.
«– Hello, Elena Fedorovna,» Nika blurted out, now entering the kitchen without fear.
The elderly woman squeaked in fright and sat down abruptly, clutching a small plate of sandwiches with her elbow. Seeing her daughter-in-law standing in the kitchen doorway, she straightened up with a sigh.
«– Have you completely lost your mind? My heart nearly stopped!» the mother-in-law exclaimed indignantly, waving her hands at the girl.
«– If you’d stop wandering through other people’s kitchens, your heart might stay in one piece,» Nika chided in a moralizing tone. «Didn’t they slice the sausage too thickly?» she added with a smile, eyeing the “orphaned” sandwich.
«– By the way, what are you doing here?» Nika suddenly asked, her smile fading completely as she stared at her mother-in-law.
«– Well, it’s just that…» the uninvited guest’s eyes darted about.
«– I see, you decided to take a bath and have a snack,» Nika replied on the woman’s behalf.
«– You’ve always been rude. I told Denis not to marry a girl who works in the police. They’re all cynical and have no respect for their elders,» the mother-in-law chided, regaining her composure.
«– Can you please stick to the topic? Otherwise, I’ll have to put my professional skills to use on you,» Nika retorted.
«– Don’t shout, you owe me your thanks,» the mother-in-law rebuked her daughter-in-law. «I saved you from a proper robbery.»
«– What do you mean? You came in and ate all the best stuff yourself so that the thieves wouldn’t get anything?» Nika asked with a smirk.
«– You’re always so sarcastic! But I had a strange premonition today. I was walking past your house and decided to drop by. I approached the door, tugged at the handle, and found it open…» the mother-in-law recounted, staring at her daughter-in-law as if she’d caught her sneaking candy from the cookie vase.
«– I clearly remember locking the door with a key,» Nika couldn’t believe her ears. Laughter was the last thing on her mind now.
«– Well, I won’t make things up. You just say something and don’t babble. How else would I have gotten into your apartment?» the mother-in-law pressed. «I don’t even have a key. That’s why I couldn’t lock it, so I decided to sit and wait for you, and to keep things interesting, I made some tea and filled the bath.»
«Could it be that I actually forgot to lock the door?» Nika fretted.
«– Elena Fedorovna, forgive me, I don’t know what came over me. Honestly, I don’t mind the cookies and sandwiches. And the water and foam too…»
The mother-in-law spoke so convincingly that Nika began to doubt her memory.
«Maybe that’s why she was coming around our house? And my foam has long since started disappearing along with my other things.» Her memory also reminded her of the missing chocolate roll and the earrings with the scarf.
Something was off—something the mother-in-law wasn’t telling, but what?
«Nikaa!»
The girl heard her husband’s voice. She shuddered and turned her head. They were returning from the movie theater. It was already dark outside.
«– Why have you been so out of it all evening? I asked you at least five times how you liked the movie,» Denis asked, puzzled as he looked at his wife.
«– Ah, the movie? It was good,» she replied, trying to appear nonchalant.
«– Come on, spill it. What happened?» Denis couldn’t hold back any longer.
«– What do you mean? Everything’s fine,» she tried to dodge the question.
«– Tell me, did you lock the front door with a key today or not?» Nika looked at her husband challengingly.
He paused for a second.
«– Oh yes! Remember, you asked me to hold your purse, and then you fiddled with the key for a long time, tucking it into the little pocket with the lock.»
«– Exactly!» Nika smacked her forehead. «She tricked me. The door was locked! Then how did she get inside?»
Denis looked at his wife, completely bewildered.
«– Nika, how are you feeling? Let me call you a taxi, and when we get home, I’ll make you a hot bath with your favorite foam so you can really relax…»
«– Ha-ha-ha. Do you really think I’ve lost my mind?»
The wife explained to her husband how she had encountered her mother-in-law in their kitchen earlier that day.
«– You see, water was running in the bath, and it smelled of my foam. But I can’t figure out how she got into the apartment if I truly locked the door,» she said, staring at her husband challengingly.
«– Damn it!» Denis cursed, slapping his forehead. «That’s because I gave my mother the keys!»
«– Why?» Nika asked, surprised.
«– Well, about six months ago we went on vacation. I gave my mother the keys to our apartment so she could look after it,» explained Denis.
«– And why didn’t you get them back?»
«– Why should I? I asked her to return them, but she apparently forgot,» he shrugged.
«– Right, or maybe she deliberately didn’t bring them back so she could drop by uninvited from time to time and take things without asking,» Nika frowned.
«– It’s fine, don’t worry. Tomorrow I’ll go get them myself,» Denis waved his hand dismissively.
«– No, leave them,» Nika exclaimed. «I want to teach her a little lesson!»
A devious plan was already forming in Nika’s mind. After this, her mother-in-law would surely forget about coming into their apartment without permission.
That evening, Nika rigged the entire apartment with cameras and streamed the footage to her phone. Even while at work the next day, she could see what was happening in her apartment.
However, she didn’t go to work the following day; instead, she stayed over at her neighbor Lenka’s place, quickly explaining the situation.
«– Are you sure you want to teach her such a harsh lesson?» Lenka asked, hesitant.
«– Absolutely. I’ve warned the boys to work carefully,» Nika grumbled. «Now she’ll remember for life that she shouldn’t drop by when the owners aren’t home.»
Lenka shook her head disapprovingly.
«– I’ve told both my mother and my mother-in-law to behave as if they were in their own home. When I visit my mother, I don’t ask for permission to have tea or coffee. Why should she have to ask permission when visiting me?»
«– I don’t hide my treats or interfere with tea time, but coming to my place when I’m not home is entirely different!»
Nika stood her ground.
Elena Fedorovna didn’t have to wait long. Convinced that she had completely outsmarted her not-so-bright daughter-in-law, she arrived at the apartment around noon.
Confidently unlocking the door with her key, she strode straight to the bathroom and turned on the water.
«– Aha, so you like my foam that much. Why can’t you buy your own?» Nika grumbled as she watched her relative.
«– Oh, look, she took the sausage out of the refrigerator,» Lenka exclaimed, eyes wide as she observed the scene.
Unaware that someone was watching her, Elena Fedorovna continued confidently toward the bedroom.
«– And here’s my little bracelet. I was so flustered—I’d been searching for it all week,» Nika announced joyfully. «Look, now she’s trying to snatch my brooch,» Nika commented on the screen.
«– Kolyunya, time’s up!» Nika commanded, dialing a number. «Remember, it’s not real—don’t wreck the place too badly, or you’ll have to clean up afterwards,» she said into the phone and switched back to the camera feed.
Elena Fedorovna felt perfectly at home in her son’s and daughter-in-law’s apartment. By the time three brave young men in full gear, armed and ready, burst into the apartment, she was pouring herself some tea.
Seeing this masked masquerade, the startled woman sank to the floor in fright.
«– The alarm panel has been triggered!» announced the leader.
«– What panel? What security?» shrieked the dumbfounded mother-in-law.
«– You’ve broken into someone else’s apartment; you’ll have to come with us until we sort out the circumstances and your identity,» declared the commander.
«– I’m not going anywhere! This is my son’s apartment. He gave me the keys, see!» With trembling hands, the woman produced a keychain from her purse.
«– So you do have the keys after all!» Nika triumphantly declared as she entered the apartment.
«– Was that you!? Was all this your doing?» the mother-in-law blushed with anger and frustration.
«– I only wanted to catch the thief who was pilfering sweets and my valuables from our cupboard. Who would have guessed it was you?»
«– And you found the scarf too?» Denis asked, utterly dismayed.
«– Imagine! It wasn’t lying where it usually is—it was hanging in the hallway on the rack!» Nika had announced with great ceremony.
«– I don’t know what to say. Somehow, all this doesn’t really look like the work of thieves,» Denis said, shaking his head.
«– That’s exactly what I’m saying!» Nika declared triumphantly.
«– So, give back the keys and, while you’re at it, the bracelet,» Nika ordered.
«– Who needs your bracelet? I’d wear it for a few days and then put it back in its place,» grumbled Elena Fedorovna as she rummaged in her purse and pulled out the ornament.
«– Thanks, guys, you really helped! See you at work,» Nika said to the boys, having frightened the uninvited guest.
«– Call us if you need anything, Veronica Nikolaevna,» responded Commander Nikolai as he left the apartment.
«– I always knew you were a rude, uneducated brute,» snapped the mother-in-law.
«– Look at you—so polite and well-mannered. A true model to follow!» Nika retorted.
«– By the way, Denis gave me the keys himself. I’ll tell your son all about how you nearly gave me a heart attack!»
«– Look, Elena Fedorovna. Denis and I have installed an alarm system in the apartment. So if you ever feel like having some tea again or luxuriating in the bath, do it in your own home, alright?»
The mother-in-law lowered her gaze and nodded. Five minutes later, she departed.
«– Son, you know your wife really outdid herself, right?» his mother shrieked into the phone as soon as she left the daughter-in-law’s place.
«– What did she do?» Denis couldn’t understand.
«– Dinya, your wife nearly roasted me! I’m practically on my way to the hospital—I nearly had a heart attack from those pranks…»
«– Mom, judging by your energetic voice, you’re fine. But lying is not good!» Denis chided in a didactic tone.
«– Oh, mother, so you think I’m lying, while your wife is the one who’s brilliant! Son, do you even have a spare mother?»
Elena Fedorovna expected a completely different reaction from her son. She thought he would immediately rush home and «teach Nika a lesson,» but things turned out differently. He even scolded his own mother.
«– Alright, now your mother won’t be calling for at least a month and a half,» Denis smirked as he returned home that evening.
«– It’s okay. Maybe she’ll start thinking for herself and realize she acted wrongly,» Nika grumbled.
Indeed, Elena Fedorovna did not disturb her son and daughter-in-law for a long time afterward. She soon forgot all about her secret visits to their apartment.
